Should the past stay in the past? Should unfinished business be settled or should you leave it alone? Let’s talk about it, Case of the EX!
We all have something in common, unless you have been locked in the cupboard for more than a hot minute. Everyone reading this should have an ex!
There’s a range of reasons why a guy or girl turns from being a partner, boyfriend or girlfriend to being an ex.
I don’t want to list them all as we would be here all day, but common themes are; someone cheated, it wasn’t going anywhere or there was a Chris and Rhianna moment.
An ex is an ex for many reasons, but sometimes in the heat of most heated moments we are drawn back to those that were once dear to our hearts.
I always have those what if moments and I guess if we all reacted to those moments our paths would be different.
Some people never let go of their exes for one reason or another, an ex plays a major part in some people’s lives whether you stay friends, are in the same social groups or they are your baby mum/dad. There is a connection, however weak, that some how remains strong.
Having a child with someone is an ever lasting bond, that child is not going anywhere so even if she’s acting whack or he’s not paying maintenance you are still the mum/dad.
No matter what person comes before or after the person you have a child with, they won’t replace that feeling (unless it was a one night thing) or feelings you had for that person at that time of your life. For most people who have children together in a loving relationship the pregnancy and birth of a child is special. Many will disagree, but how many people have split with their babymum/dad and are still sleeping with them on the side? How many people wish they didn’t make those mistakes they did and wished things could be different.
Let’s put baby’s aside for one minute. I asked my twitter peeps this week to hit me up with their views on getting back with an ex surprisingly it seems the only thing exes are good for is sex.
“Once your done your done!”
“There’s only one pro to an ex…….. SEX!”
“I agree sex but only if he’s BIG and good”
“Pros: You feel comfortable with them, know what to expect. Cons: could fall for them again, might not move on”
“Pros: If they were good than woooo. Cons they catch them feelings wid every thrust of a hip… #Long”
“Pros: Sex that night knows what she can do no asking. Cons: Her talking about what we had”
“Pros: sex and comfort. Cons: can be boring, predictable, annoying, nosy, overly familiar, and think its okay to fart in front of u cos they used to”
Is it just about sex though? Isn’t it about remembering those feelings you once had, reminiscing on good times, that person who knows you probably better than anyone else? Yeah, its comfortable with an ex, but in many cases things that happened in the past could make you feel uncomfortable.
Hold on, there is a good reason why you split though right? So why would you entertain going back?
So he comes with the puppy dog face, like Drake with bars like “Baby I miss you” and she comes with “no one does it better than me?” Does someone missing you warrant a come back? So he says he’s sorry, he made a mistake and yeah you still like him. Why wouldn’t you? He’s an attractive guy, the sparks still there, but can a leopard change he’s spots? Chances are, if it ended badly you will have told everyone about it who will listen. So bringing that person back into your circle isn’t going to bode well.
As I said before, an ex is an ex for a reason. You can’t make something new from old rope. People do change and evolve, but the factors that made you split will most likely still be there. If something is not meant to be, it isn’t meant to be. So what would be the point of trying again?
I haven’t got all the answers, these are questions that individuals need to work out for their self, remember I aint getting paid to write this shit! What I will say is, an ex is an ex for a reason, if you go back will you ever be able to go forward?
If it was a fiery relationship that ended badly don’t reignite the flames, as only you will get burnt again. I once came up with a theory and told this to someone close to me who stupidly didn’t listen and ended up with a seriously bad case of the ex. If your shoes are mash-up what do you do? Get new ones! New shoes may take a bit of time to wear in, but they look good, feel fresh and you can have so much fun with them. Old shoes, although they may be comfy, in the end start to fall apart and in some cases have a musty smell!
Final thought would you eat something past its use by date? If the answers no leave it alone.