Who Runs the World????

20 Jul

I like to see myself as a good, strong, independent female; someone who is not scared to say what she thinks or feels and who is able to excel in all she does. I don’t like to fail and always aim high. I’m usually stressed because of the high standards I have for my self and my children – I want them to have and do the best they possibly can. I wasn’t always like this!

One day something clicked as a woman and a mother – I wanted more. I realised that I only had one life and needed to live it by doing all the things I wanted to do and no one but me could help with my dreams and aspirations this was something I had to do for myself!!!

for myself!!!

When women go on the route to independence (not the M1) they always get stick from everyone around them – be it men or women. If you’re a working mum; you should be at home with your kids, if you’re a high-flying career woman; you’re power-mad and we ALL know what people think about female drivers! (I refuse to comment here)

The male/female divide always stirs up some form of controversy or debate. With any fiery females and red-blooded males -even from an early age it is apparent in the way the two sexes are different. Take, for instance, my children. My daughter, from a very young age, was fiercely independent wanted to do everything for herself and was (and still is) a quick learner, on the other hand my son has always wanted either myself or my husband to do everything for him. He wants to learn new things in his own time and although now at four years old; he has developed his own level of independence …it took him a while.
Not all women are feminists, but most sensible women have good opinions on how the modern woman should live alongside a man – and preferably living alongside the New Age man. However, there are many out there that still have not been able to evolve -remaining sadly in the Neanderthal stage (also known as savages).

stage

I had a debate with my cousin last week about women and men not being equal, feminists and generally the power of the woman. (My cousin is male so you can only imagine the difference of opinions). Women have come a long way over the ages; we have the vote, we have mostly equal pay in the work place, we have some good strong women leaders in politics throughout the world and more women in high-powered roles. It was common belief (and in some places around the world) it still is the woman’s role to get married, have children and wait on her husband hand and foot.
Somewhere down the line women woke up and said “This is not for me!” These women decided to go and get educated, move into a career and do all the stuff man has been doing for years proving whatever he can do we can do! We have had the female artists that have been doing their thing helping and showing us the way Spice girls with the “Girl Power movement”, Aretha Franklin “Sisters are doing it for themselves”,  Destiny’s Child with “Independent Women”.

destinys child "independent women".

In my own house, as a working mum, I like to run a tight ship! I want to raise my children to be able to know how to run a house! I want to prepare them for when they have their own families, as well as ensuring they are well-educated and take on hobbies that could compliment their future careers. My house is the house of equal opportunities. My husband will cook, clean, shop, wash and iron just like me because if I’m at work or busy doing other things, I should be able to feel that I will not have to come home to a disaster zone washing piled high and the sink looking like we have opened up a restaurant! My Husband appreciates the fact that a women’s place is not just in the home!
I know many people who do everything for their husbands or partners, and if that’s what people are happy with doing then great but (and although I’m not religious) I will say the first woman Eve was created so that Adam would not be lonely not so she and women after could wait on man for all eternity. There is a difference between being a good wife and partner and being a doormat if your husband goes to work all day and you are at home then it is only fair and equal that you do everything in the home. (Although every now and again a break would be nice). If you’re a woman who works and does everything in the home and you husband/partner works then it is only fair and equal that he takes on some of the household chores relationships are partnerships where – if everyone puts in work, the benefits speak for themselves!!
In my view, the modern-day woman is someone with independence, intelligence and strength (remembering being educated and having common sense are two very different things – believe me, I’ve come across some dipsticks). Someone who has more to her than just her looks! Lots of guys, (and we see it in trashy magazines and tabloid newspapers all the time) go for the trophy wife with fake boobs and hair extensions with nothing but spaghetti for brains.

A lot of guys DO go for beauty before brains and although we all would like to have someone nice to look at and that will age well. If they lack the art of conversation, the next twenty plus years is going to drag slightly!!! (If it lasts that long)

(If it lasts that long)

Maybe guys are slightly scared of the modern-day woman since she stepped up her game and got all independent -singing about running the world, guys got a bit scared. I mean there are still the guys out there that will talk to anything that breathes regardless of what she looks like or how clever she is… trying to get what he can – slightly desperate –sound familiar?.
There are guys out there perhaps, who ARE afraid to take a risk on this kind of girl and maybe they worry that she will talk back too much, ask too many questions, not know her place and want them to take on more they can manage. There are guys out there that can handle the independent woman and we all know behind every great man is one hell of a great woman! These guys are not scared of opinion, judgement and change they are prepared to evolve in a way that is beneficial for all parties allowing their female counterparts to rise and flourish.
To me, guys who shy away from strong women are the ones that are losing out! My advice is don’t hide behind a man, be at his side.
I’ll leave you with this last quote:
“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.”   ~Anaïs Nin

~Anaïs Nin

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14 Responses to “Who Runs the World????”

  1. amberinidalioness July 21, 2011 at 7:06 am #

    Well said sash. I’m actually realising that I am not alone with my thoughts as much as I thought. It’s true since becoming a mother I am now striving for the best for lil man and sometimes feel unsupported. What happens when you aim for equality after being at a at home mother and then start working. It seems that as I progress into my woman hood that men (in general) can not keep up.,mayne I got the wrong partner (lol) but I’m forever hopeful that very soon he will step up his game and I will feel fully supported. Looking forward to the next post xxxx

    • Medhavi Pheiffer July 22, 2011 at 10:58 am #

      Well said Sasha, we are soooo much more than just trophies who follow our other half’s around like lost puppies! there is still so much underlying issues facing our sex/species.
      There are countries in which women go to prison when they are raped, there are religions which preach that women must worship their husbands as though they are god, what equally some culture believe women to be goddesses, to be a sign of wealth and stregnth to be the mother of all creations.

      Yes we do strive to be equal but it still begs to question how can we not be the stronger sex when we are able to handle the world on our shoulders and still show no sign of strain when the tide is rough?
      Our strength I believe lies in the pure fact that we women not only have the ability to think with their minds but also judge and act with their hearts.

      This in not taking anything away from our counter species, on the contrary it only goes to show what pillars of strength have influenced them along their journey and what/who they must look forward to growing with…

      We must run together, walk together and rule together we are all part male and part female energetically….

      • supermumlover July 22, 2011 at 11:13 am #

        All true hun thanks for the comments glad you enjoying the reading

    • supermumlover July 22, 2011 at 11:15 am #

      IHun I was an at home mother to start of with I think you just have to work to gain your equal status!!! Get you other half to read these to gain a greater understanding of women it may help him x

  2. Miss Acquah July 23, 2011 at 9:50 am #

    True talk!!

    interesting read for both men and women, single, married or in a relationship

    xxx

  3. Kevin Burgess July 27, 2011 at 8:35 pm #

    Interesting thoughts, though the problem truly stems from the vast history of oppression upon woman. Although equality amongst the sexes has come a long way in the last century, it still carries the burden of thousands of years of direct and indirect misogyny. Its funny that you mention the bible and particularly Eve, I would consider myself a staunch atheist but there is no denying that for the past 1,700 years the Bible and its rhetoric has played a significant role in formulating some kind of moralistic compass upon which the vast majority of the modern Western world has perched, yet it is a text that utterly vilifies the female of the species. I think Mary was the only woman who came out of it with any kind of dignity, one of the biggest thumbs down for the female is the fact that Eve, the apparent ‘first woman’ was created from Adam’s rib! Second class citizen much?!

    And then there is the small fact that the entirety of the Catholic belief system stems around the fact that mankind is born into sin and spends the rest of eternity repenting in a vain attempt at gaining entrance into the kingdom of heaven, and why? Because bloody Eve was tempted into eating the forbidden fruit and then shared it with Adam, and in doing so condemning man kind into an eternity of penance and sacrifice. And that’s not even to mention the stuff that came centuries later with Mary Magdalene, a women who many scholars and theologist’s would argue was not only Jesus’ ‘life partner’ but would certainly have been considered an Apostle, is relegated to the supporting cast and derided as nothing more than a common whore and social pariah.

    These are all subtle nuances that formed part of the social thinking of times past, I suppose to the neanderthal in all of us that survives on pure primal instinct, this makes some sense, especially back then. We as a species have evolved so quickly and methodically in the last 200 years that our mindset hasn’t caught up with us, for the hunter gatherer in us, it makes total logical sense for the female to be deemed lower simply because, men are physically stronger. And back when you couldn’t just pop to the supermarket to buy some stuff for your dinner, mankind had to hunt to eat, to purely survive. It’s this mentality, that sits deep within our rooted pysche that drives the dichotomy amongst us.

    Freud theorised that the modern persons psyche is divided into 3 parts, the ‘Id’, the ‘Ego’ & the ‘Super Ego’. The Id is the part of the brain that survives purely on instinct and acts only for self preservation, the Ego is where our evolved sense of compassion and realism lies & the super Ego is where our sense of morality and ability to critique and question stems from, now we are all essentially wild beasts and we have thousands and thousands of years surviving only on our instincts, living within the Id, its not until much more recently when we have evolved into the compassionate and moralistic specie that we are today (as a whole, we are after all herders..) but that sense of preservation that is driven by the Id, still survives in us all, and that’s not just for us men folk, women have the same tendencies too, which is why many women don’t see a problem with being homely, because instinctively, with the added capacity of being child bearers, its what their subconscious is telling them is ‘right’.

    But we’ve come a long way and we will continue to do so, and that’s a good positive thing, however the pessimistic in me wonders if we will ever truly reach total equality, there are just so many underlying factors to be ironed out of our systems for that to ever happen and if it does, I doubt it will ever be in our lifetimes.

    As a side note I must guffaw a tad at your choice of female roles models!! The Spice Girls! Destinys Child! They do nothing but fawn at man’s sympathies and neatly formulate themselves into nicely rounded pegs to be hammered with aplomb into rounded circles crafted by men. I’ll give you Aretha though and Anais Nin, great shouts and to further the ‘who runs the world?’ cause, I will add these greats of the female form. Sylvia Plath, Helen Keller, Ayn Rand, Emilline Pankhurst and the Suffragettes, Joni Mitchell, Virginia Woolf, Billie Holiday, Audrey Hepburn and a little more recent, PJ Harvey, Joanna Newsom & Janelle Monae!

    • supermumlover July 28, 2011 at 6:01 am #

      Hi Kevin

      Thanks for your comments I use Adam and Eve as an example of how woman was taken from the side to show that this is how thing should be not how the church currently see’s our our position today, I totally agree with with what you say about the church and women however I think this is most religions hence why I was never christened and follow no religion. All examples that you have given about women being opressed stem from none other than men Freud although great in most of his work and I can say most of his theories are true the modern womens Id is changes and most are not homely (Maybe this is because they were never properly attached to their mothers) and men are taking on these roles. If we think about animals lions for example who is the hunter gatherer there the lioness does everything protects, hunts, trains the young whislt maintaining everything else!!!
      Lastly the women I have used in the blog are not neccessarily my idols but groups of people that I know who have wrote songs of power that have spurned women on especially in their time of need as male and female we will always have a difference of opinion its good to know not everyone agrees with me and isn’t affraid of having their own opion which is what these is all about starting a debate xxx

  4. Kevin Burgess July 28, 2011 at 7:35 am #

    Hi Sasha,

    I don’t disagree with your point as such, I’m just looking at it from a different perspective. My point about the bible, and other religious texts, is that they were written by men, and women don’t come out of them very well. But there is an underlying reason for this, I don’t think it was part of some ploy to oppress women in general, I think it was more a natural thought process from that time and of a time previous, and dates right back to the dawning of man and our instinctive and primal natures. It just so happened that those texts have shrouded our existence for such a long time and have shaped our thought process for centuries.

    I guess what I was trying to say is that, I don’t think you can look at this as a case by case study of mankind. In this day and age we have a bloated sense of self worth and independence, when in reality and looking at the big picture, we are all essentially the same, we are natural herders and we move along through time en mass. Our thought processes and outlooks are essentially feuled by the same things. The difference between the sexes, on the whole, I don’t believe stem from any pre conceived plans to ‘keep women down’ and stem more from our natural impulses that have thrived for thousands and thousands of years. But essentially, we also evolve quicker than any other species, so in this day and age, those impulses are being tamed by the bustling ‘super ego’s’ within us that questions the difference between what is right and what is wrong, for the modern world.

  5. Kevin Burgess July 28, 2011 at 7:36 am #

    P.S Still not giving you the Spice Girls though! 😉

    • supermumlover August 1, 2011 at 10:45 am #

      LOL Spice Girl’s are great I always saw myself as scary spice!!!

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