Drink Drink Drunk

25 Jun

Years ago Mr B put me on a two drink rule those of you who know me of old will remember this, after two drinks I was wasted and would become an abusive and slightly aggressive drunk! Luckily I grew up and learnt to carry the alcohol in my system without letting it carry me. Or at least I thought I did!!! After the other weeks antics a bottle of vodka later I know I’m still an aggressive abusive drunk maybe I need to go back to the two drink rule!

I fully admit to loving a good drink and now Mr B doesn’t mind me coming home drunk at all as long as I can still carry out my wife duties it’s cool. When I do drink I go in but always manage to contain myself when I’m out and probably get in more problems when I’m sober than when I’m drunk. I’m hopefully long past the days where I’m yakking in the toilet or in a friends shoe (Yes this happened once), no I can never walk in a straight line but who does anyway. The end of a really drunk night comes I go out looking stunning and usually look a mess by the time it’s done , my feet ache the shoes come off and it’s a takeaway on the way home. I’m usually not fussed wings and chips, mcd’s, kebab or bagel king will all do nicely. The pictures are put up on Facebook, I’m tagged I cringe, laugh and plan the next night out having long memories of fun times.

It is funny when I go out and don’t drink which I have done more often lately, being the responsible driver who takes everyone home I have the legal limit and I’m fine to party as hard as everyone else. The only thing about not being drunk is you don’t miss a trick and noticing everything in a room where people are just about functioning is sometimes not great. My facial expressions are not easily hidden I go into screwface mode, I get pissed when some drunk twat spills his drink on me and get irritated by every guy that asks me how I am.

We all say we drink socially so when the dentist asked me how much I drink I quickly said “Not a lot” he persists well how many glasses of wine a day? In my head I’m thinking jheeze it’s more like how many tumblers of vodka any way I just tell him maximum a bottle a week and move on. The ultimate truth is I could probably drink everyday but I don’t, I don’t have time I finish work and I only want to sleep. When I’m running around with the kids on my days off it would be highly inappropriate as the “Responsible Adult” to sip sip the day away! (Or gulp gulp depending on how desperate you are) I guess I’m what the government would call a “Binge Drinker” as when I go in I go in, they say go hard or go home and when your drunk in your own home with nowhere to go your forced to continue drinking! I don’t get drunk much as I’d actually like to but the definition of a binge drinker is as follows which seems to fit me:

” Binge drinking or heavy episodic drinking is the modern epithet for drinking alcoholic beverages with the primary intention of becoming intoxicated by heavy consumption of alcohol over a short period of time. It is a kind of purposeful drinking style that is popular in several countries worldwide, and overlaps somewhat with social drinking since it is often done in groups. The degree of intoxication, however, varies between and within various cultures that engage in this practice. A binge on alcohol can occur over hours or last up to several days. Due to the long-term effects of alcohol misuse, binge drinking is considered to be a major public health issue.” (Wikipedia)

So apparently my culture is what makes me binge drinker being part Italian and drinking wine always with dinner  growing up probably didn’t help as well as being part Jamaican which I know needs know explanation!

Drinking to become intoxicated is what binge drinking is, I don’t know many who drink cause they like the feel of a hangover, we all drink knowing if we have too much we are going to be wasted they say drink responsibly but if that was the case we would all have one glass and hit the road!

Drinking is everywhere if you think about it every Soap I watch (Apart from Home & Away and yes I still watch it)  has a pub in it Eastenders and The Queen Vic, Emmerdale and the wool pack, Hollyoaks and The Dog and Corrie and the rovers. Anyway I could be here all day justifying my drinking but the point is there are some people out there getting themselves into a right old state waking up next to a person they never knew they went home with! One night I saw a girl take a dirty drop off the bench she tried to dance on all in the name of drinking and having a good time. Being an alcoholic is said to be an illness one so bad you could lose everything I guess what I’m saying is try to drink responsibly designated drivers, responsible friend who will look after you and if you can’t do any of that I’ll pray you get home safe this weekend!

To end a funny drunk story not one of mine

“I went to Italy in April and went out with few of my friends also other friends from London including a guy that I really liked.  I got sooo wasted in the club and I was in the toilet the whole night vomiting, sooo many of my friends came into the toilet to check on me, having no idea who they were I could not remember who they were! All of the sudden I opened my mouth and started to confess my feelings about the guy that I like and how we have been sleeping with each other for the past 3 months, little did I know I was giving my confession to the guys girlfriend!!!”

OUCHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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