Tag Archives: working mum

Breast is best?

23 Aug

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Breastfeeding is a touchy subject mainly as we sexulize breasts which takes away from what they are really used for.

I’m not gonna lie I’ve done it tight dress stomach in boobs out, if you got it flaunt it and fortunately in our family breasts are an asset.

Known to get ladies out of parking fines the two humps that sit neatly for most on your chest are always causing some kind of uproar.

There was never a choice about breastfeeding instinctively I just did it. The first time round it was difficult and after a hard Labour her first feed was a bottle I persevered and managed 3 months fully breast feeding and another 3 combined. Second time I managed 6months and 1 month combined and this time I managed a whole year and one week combined with cows milk.

Having done this a few times I was determined to feed for as long as possible up until my little elf turned one. I also figured I would be saving money on milk that when I had my first was five pound a tin and has now doubled in price.

I soon learned this time round that breast feeding causes mass debates and people to continuously comment.

Are you going to breastfeed?
How long for?
When are you stopping?
Are you still breastfeeding?
Do you express?
It’s gonna kill when she has teeth!
Oh I didn’t breastfeed!
I couldn’t breastfeed!
Is she getting enough
It’s only beneficial the first few months

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So what’s the big deal?
It’s us other women, when women become pregnant or have a baby we turn into the a walking baby encyclopedia. What has worked for Jan might not work for Pam both us and our babies are different.

There feels like there is a lot of pressure to breast feed with now most maternity wards are not supplying formula. For women who truly can’t breast feed its a constant feeling of failure that they have let their baby down. For women that choose not to its the funny comments from others about their lack of wanting to bond. For those that are they are ridiculed in public and told to cover both themselves and their baby with a sheet.

As always us women just can’t win!

On parenting, pregnancy and breastfeeding sites the passion and tension on the subject is horrific. I have scrolled through these wanting to comment but stop myself mid flow.

I’d like to tell these ladies who are so passionate how hard breastfeeding is with three kids. How hard it is feeding a baby every two hours, how sore my breasts are from being so filled up. How exaushted it makes me feel and how hungry I am constantly. How I forget to drink water so sometimes milk supply is low, How ive leaked through breast pads and how my child feeds like a monster.

I choose not to as no matter how much you say it won’t make a difference to what the keyboard warriors currently feel.

As A woman I’d like to be supported by other women in my journey through motherhood. No matter how many groups classes and support pages there are you will always find groups of women bashing each other. When my friends ask advice I try to say I did this but do what’s best for you because ultimately mum knows best.
If you didn’t breast feed I won’t think any less of you I don’t know your struggle.

But comment on my choice and there maybe a problem!

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Women want more

12 Jul

Compared to most people I know, I have it really good. Roof over my head, good job, husband and two great kids, holidays every year money in the bank and generally, if I want or need something I can have it so why do I always want more?
Wanting more can sometimes be a good thing but may come with sacrifices. Wanting to strive and having ambitions are great qualities in any person, and for a man to have a woman that wants to be the best that she can be, and even when she’s at her highest height still strives on is fantastic.

But… (and this is a big one) if the man is not flowing in her direction aiming for the stars, wanting to climb mountains to be the best that HE can be he may get left behind eating the dust of the woman he loves who’s running like Usain Bolt to get to the finish line!

Although I wouldn’t mind winning the lottery, the thought of too much money is scary – so I’m actually not that greedy! I would just want a few standard things and to sit on the rest. Although I’m good at my job, I’m not really looking to ‘savage’ all my co-workers with dreams of getting to the top! I would like a new job, but I guess that will happen, when it happens! I manage perfectly well being a working mum, whilst managing to shake a regular leg but when there are too many things happening at once I juggle everything to make it work (women can understand this) and this is where wanting more comes into it…
I will always be a wife and a mother but sometimes; it is just nice being ME – letting go and being free! I think this is something that most women can relate to. When the kids grow up, I don’t want to be stuck in the house having not worked all my life feeling sorry for myself?! When my eggs have grown into big birds (Sesame St.) and flown the nest (As time is flying by like…that probably won’t be long) I want to be out there still doing the things I enjoy; living my life to the fullest and not having regrets about things I wished I had done.
The word housewife has always sickened me and fair play to all the mums that DO stay at home. I did do this for a while but as my daughter grew I started to forget how to have adult conversations and to be honest (about?) There is only so much Jeremy Kyle and Cbeebies a woman can take!!!

Having been a teenage mum, I have gone from strength to strength on the defensive trying to overcome fears, doing things wrong then going over them, trying to do them right again. I know there is no such thing as the ‘perfect parents’ or ‘perfect Mum’, and I am far from being the ‘perfect person’ and some people may think this is quite selfish as when you are a Mum you have to sacrifice things for your children but I say, ‘Do you really need to do that? Can’t we at least try to have it all??? My children haven’t suffered. My kids know if mummy doesn’t work – we won’t have holidays and amazing days out. My kids are never left with nannies and our routine is sometimes a struggle but every week with all their activities I pull it off and between 8 and 9pm I hang up my ‘mum shoes’ and turn into me. That’s if I don’t have to work.

At this time I want to catch up with the gossip, open a bottle of wine or go and shake what MY mamma gave me.
I love my kids, but I want them to see me as much more than their mum. I want to be someone who they look up to, respect, see as hard working, someone with morals, ambition, drive, a strong woman who stands up for what she believes in and will fight to be heard. I want them to see me as the woman who did it all and more. Personally, I think it’s important for children to have people that they can look up to in all respects, having a daughter; it’s important for me to show her there is much more to being a woman than just being someone’s partner, wife or baby mother and breeding like a rabbit.

I feel I’m a bit like Oliver in Oliver Twist crying out with all I have going on in my life “Please Sir, can I have some more?” Being perfectly honest, Oliver did end up going from rags to riches so maybe there is no harm?