Three!

So I’ve made it through the terrible twos and now have a threenager Lord help me what with the teenager and the ten going on middle aged boy I might not make it to the next birthday blog. I’ve always said Kodi came to challenge my parenting skills and she continues to do just that.
She is finally sleeping in her own bed after if she could just get that waking up at 5.30 or 6am is not what we want or need her to do then we may get along even better

It’s been fun potty training was easier than we expected after trying persistently from 1-1.5 we gave up. Kodi does what she wants when she wants and just after two she was dry at night without even trying. A few accidents later and we have a dry baby one that says poo every time she wants a wee!!!

Food, as I have said Kodi is her own person she started her time as a two year old eating anything she could get her hands on. Turn time forward and we have food being lobbed across the room that isn’t up to the expectations of our new fussy eater. The diet has consisted of no veg, nothing with sauce on, ham sandwiches without the ham and anything plain. Now although you may think we’ll she eats fruit and meat you haven’t tried picking up plate after plate of food off the floor. If she’s in the mood for fruit she will eat it if she’s not yep you guessed it on the floor.

Constipation are we allowed to talk crap??? The fussy eaters club has caused some irregular bowel movements!!! When Elf was born I’d never realised how much shit could come out of one small being. When we brought her home we forgot that they cry poop and need to be fed. At 2am every night for the first few weeks this was the routine… She was regular and like clockwork for a few months and then it became less regular, apparently breast fed babies have less waste. I’ve been brought up knowing that going daily once or even twice is normal at age two we have a little person who goes once a week if we are lucky!!! Cue visit to the dietician and these funny seeds she now has spread on her toast to make her regular….Kodi like her brother is a keen runner in fact any time you let her down she tries to run off. We should have used reins but she would have just pulled them off. So now we keep fit by chasing her everywhere she goes. As she is approaching three she has calmed some what…

After taking thousands of photos of Kodi she now loves a selfie and is a fully fledged member of the tongue gang!! If your tongues not out your not having enough fun!!

Kodi should have been a boy she loves the colour blue, hates, dresses and loves dinosaurs. I have had to learn to compromise with her, now If I force her to wear a dress which is about once a week she wears converse. I’ve given up with pink clothes, she has the odd item but now I mainly buy blue in fact she looks better in blue maybe she just a has style. Kodi is a tough kid she loves digging in mud (she also likes eating it) she will climb the tallest climbing frame and search for creepy crawlies in the garden. She’s an adventurer with her own mind and we just go with her. Some people believe young children should not be allowed to think for themselves and although we guide her Kodi knows exactly what she wants and us hard to persuade otherwise. I hope her strong mind leads her to greatness.

Tantrums if she hasn’t had the most tantrums out of her siblings then I’d be amazed. The throw yourself on the floor embarrass your mum making her look like she failed at parenting kind of tantrums!! Yep she has them at the most inappropriate of times. I’m sat here in Disney whilst she sleeps watching kids have tantrums and smiling as I am happy it’s not my turn or my kid again! I’ve become a tantrum pro, at child three I actually don’t care yes its embarrassing but it’s not the end of our little world. If she wants to kick scream throw herself about I let her and within moments calms restored and we are on our way. Kodi is like having twins she has her good side and her bad when she is good she’s amazing a delight to be with and a really beauty. But when she’s bad shit she’s awful, ever heard of the rhyme ‘There was a little girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead… when she was good she was very very good and when she was bad she was horrid’ yep that’s Kodi.

People meet Kodi fall in love with her her elfie look is a thing of the past she has a beautiful smile, big brown eyes and cute little curls (that she still won’t put in a hair band)

Kodi likes to get herself dressed which for my st children is a simple exercise. For Kodi this means a battle of what we have chosen for her to wear against what she wants to wear! After our morning errands she comes home marches to her bed and puts her PJS back on

The journey to three has been eventful we have had some remarkable moments from our little elf princess like the breaking of the TV with the toy broom or the dangling of the worm in front of my face in the park. We have also had the most amazing moments how loving she is with her siblings and friends and her face this week when she met Mickey Mouse.
Another year has gone far to quickly and we can’t wait for the next chapter Nursery…. let’s hope she’s not excluded before reception!!!!!

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Teenage Mum

If you didn’t already know I’m 26 with a  9-year-old  daughter and if you good at doing your sums and listened at school (Actually it doesn’t take a genius) you will have realised that I was once a Teenage Mum.

People may read this with the usual stereotypical views of teenage motherhood and realise I don’t conform to any of them
Q. Did I get pregnant to get a council flat????
A. No!!!
Q. Are you a chav??
A.No
Q. Am I a single mum on benefits?
A. No I’m married and work!!
Q. How many baby fathers and children do I have????
A. Two children, one husband

So now we have that bit out the way, feel free to leave any answered questions at the bottom of the blog! Back to the point. At 17, I became pregnant with my daughter Kyra. I was scared, confused and knew my parents would either attempt or go through with killing me but in that one moment of madness I, like many other teenagers in the UK, took that risk and had unprotected sex.

I was luckier that most teenage girls when I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend took responsibility for his actions, we were young and in love and he vowed to stand by me no matter what. Telling my parents was probably the hardest thing I had ever done (harder than labour – and that’s hard), it must be every parents worst nightmare for their child to come home and say “I’m pregnant” or “I’ve got someone pregnant”. As a parent, you have so many hopes and dreams for your children and when those words come out of their mouth the world you had built crumbles to the ground!!!! I was at college studying Travel and Tourism with aspirations to travel the world. What my parents didn’t know was that I hated college! The course I was on was not for me, the girls were becoming a clique and I hadn’t attended a lesson for weeks!!! Before I announced I was pregnant, I quit college, having decided it just wasn’t for me. At the time, I had a part-time job and even that was a struggle as I was constantly being sick they call it ‘morning sickness’ but what they don’t tell you is it can come at anytime, I was sick morning, noon and night I became anaemic and had to leave work as I couldn’t cope. In between all this, I had to deal with telling my parents and, NO! They were not at all pleased. The fact that I left it very late in the day to tell them probably did not help either. Nevertheless, after the shock, anger and tears they supported me on my journey and still do today. Again in this respect I believe I was lucky.

I came from a good home but I was a wayward teenager from the age of 13 (after the death of my granddad) it all went down hill getting in trouble at school, late nights, smoking, drinking and boys ruled most of my life – a toxic combination. I was on the road to self-destruction. Looking back, I was a bit of a nightmare and many of my friends who knew me then and know me now will tell you I have changed immensely. Back then, I wasn’t the nicest of people and had little respect for myself or others around me!!

Being a teenager, I was selfish and over-confident and if it didn’t benefit me I didn’t want to know. Yet these days were coming to an end, I was soon going to have someone else to care for, someone who depended on me and someone else to love. I often wandered how I would cope. I wasn’t scared but during the pregnancy with one thing or another I was always stressed. I didn’t care what people thought about me and I adopted the “Shit Happens” attitude as it was happening to me!!!

My journey as a teenage mum taught me many invaluable lessons. For any teenage mother, a lesson quickly learnt is to find out who your friends are. Those that have stuck by me all know who they are. My friends have supported me through ups and downs, been there as a shoulder to cry on, been babysitters, laughed and helped me to have a good time when things were hard. When people have a baby everyone flocks to you to have their say but it’s those that remain and stay true that are the ones who really care!! (To them – I give thanks)
My daughter was born in August 2002, two months before my 18th Birthday. I was in labour for a total of 28 hours (I won’t go in to details but it was traumatic) and finally my little girl arrived at 6.14.oz with ten fingers and ten toes – she was perfect. My mum helped me get through the labour and I don’t think I would have managed if she was not there. My husband cut the cord and there was not a dry eye in the room.

Starting a new job opened doors for me I wanted to strive to be a role model for other new mums, I wanted to help people and show everyone that I was more than just a teenage mum. I started work based training and completed two NVQ’s level 2 and 3 I then went on to do a Social Science degree graduating in 2009. My achievements flowed I got married, started volunteering, had another baby, learnt to drive and started a new career path.  In the years that followed I was given the name  supermum by my friends and I showed everyone that I was more than a teenage mum. I’m not advocating teenage pregnancy but I think with the right help, love and support from those around you a young mum can turn out to be a wonderful inspirational woman!!!  None of us a perfect parents and all we can do is our best my daughter has turned out fine and I wouldn’t change her for the world!!!

My journey was difficult but I over came for others sadly it’s not the same the UK has one of the highest rates of teen pregnancies, a lot of these girls are not in education, don’t have the support of the child’s father, family and friends and are left social outcast on low incomes in a cycle of poverty. What we see in the media today about teenage mum’s is never positive we don’t see people who go on to change their lives and we don’t see how good they are as mums. What we are shown is the stereotypical view of teenage mums and girls that live up to this which is a shame as I believe there are many that do not fall into this category whose children are their world and they try to do everything in the power to change the situation they are in.