#DPMO

I sometimes feel that I am constantly moaning about one thing or another so I have decided to just have an all out rant, those that want to read can continue and those that don’t know how to leave the page!

We all have buttons that when pushed can make us angry, while out or go off on one and I have realised there is more than a few things that have been going down in one place or another that quite frankly piss me off!!

So I’m going to go from 10-1 with the top ten things that piss me off, some of them will have been taken from previous blogs and others will be general so here goes in no particular order:

10. Say what you mean, mean and do as you say!

There are a lot of people out there that are just hyped and this is not to be mixed with those out there that are confused. Those of you that say you are going to do something then back track, I don’t want to hear it! Further more we don’t want to know until you have done it. You all know someone like this help these people become people who do, not people who forever chat what they are going to do and never progress. Forever being that guy or that girl still in the same place not having been anywhere!!!

9. Followers!

I’m not talking about them on twitter!!! Not everyone has it in them to be a leader the same way not everyone needs to be a follower just because everyone else is doing it don’t mean you have to too.  Don’t try be like your friends your only going to get yourself into problems. Be unique, be real, be you. I’m not talking about following fashion or music, I’m talking about following life!!! How many of you know someone trying to follow your exact life movements? Just because your trying to develop in something they want to copy when they have never indicated this before? Followers are undercover snakes in the grass watch your backs!!!

8. Neanderthal Man

Guys get over it now Beyonce has sung enough songs to make you all realise there are enough of us strong independent ladies out here who can run the world. I’m not asking for a female global takeover, I’m saying we can match you in most things so ease up. Only women your going to get is breeders and the economy and your pockets will crumble if this happens. We need you, you need us enough said!!!!

7. BMT (Black Man’s Time)

I will add this does not only refer to the black man as everyone’s doing it, lateness is not on people fix up as my sister say’s running that slack and black line for the rest of your life is not going to help. I hate lateness, I hand on heart make every effort to be punctual as lateness brings stress and stress is not good. If this is happening to you on a regular basis it means your letting people down and the first person your letting down is yourself!! Fix up

6. Fakeness

I can deal with fake, hair tan, eyelashes, implants and whatever other body part you choose to super impose (I do not have any of these may I add) If your rocking these looks make sure your rocking them well I don’t want to see your streaky tans or the glue in your hair thank you very much!!! It’s cheap, tacky and not attractive. If you can’t do real make sure your paying money to rock fake good!!! While we are on the subject of fake any fake pretend friends jump off too, if your around someone for who they know, what drink they can buy you, rave they can hook you up with or just so you know their business to bitch to others KEEP IT MOVING and don’t stop when the light is red!!!!

5. I’m not a mind reader!!

Can we just start being real with each other, I am always as real as I can be with those around me. If you don’t like something SAY. If you don’t want to do something SAY. Don’t sit in the corner quiet then bitch and moan after the event, it’s not on either be real or stay silent!!! We can not read your mind you need to tell people what you want and think!!!

4. Leave the sun alone (No not the newspaper)

How many people do I hear complaining once it hits 25 degrees which it rarely does over hear but when we have our random two-week heat wave everyone moans “Oh init hot, oh init too hot” Go away no it’s not hot enough for my brown skin!!! I need it at least 30 before I’m even warm!!

 

3. People who moan about being tired!!!

Now I’m always tired and moan about it I work nights,  so half the time I don’t get that much sleep, if you aint productive in your daily going’s on don’t moan constantly about being tired when your not fully participating in society by working or rasing kids. You people sitting around being lazy claiming like we got enough money in the pot to look after you all wake up and fix up!!!

 

2. Kids

If your not going to look after, raise and earn a hard living to pay for them then you shouldn’t be having kids yes ladies that’s you too, it takes two don’t always blame the man who you know aint going to be around to help you. We all need to take some responsiblity be prepared to put in or don’t be pushing them out!!

1. Your Past

We all have a past some people never had dad’s, others never had mum’s, sometimes stuff was hard and other times it was real hard. But don’t blame every single thing that happens on your past “His like that cause his dad weren’t around” yeah it’s a factor but don’t make it your life story. Try to make the best of your situation  and learn from the mistakes. Don’t live by regrets and destroy yet another generation! Deal with things when they need to be dealt with, talk to someone, let your past shape your future not destroy it!!!

These among other things really piss me off what pisses you off??

Let’s end with a banger by Alizae and Mr Mayhem one of my favourites Don’t Piss Me Off

The power of the woman (Man V Woman)

Most days I genuinely feel like superwoman and I bet most of the ladies feel the same way, once you have juggled the days events battling your way through can sometimes be a struggle. The modern day woman does it all and more. I know I take on far too much for my own good and even finding time to sit down and write this blog every week can be tight, but every week I manage to push it through.

There is always debate about the sexes, who is the strongest man or woman? I believe the power of the woman is a strong one, but I don’t always feel that strong!

When I talk about strength I mean physical, mental and emotional. Now, I could do what most of the men that read this blog expect and say point blank women are stronger, but there would be no point in writing that, so I’ll look at each strength and go from there.

The first strength is physical, now I don’t go to the gym but I can lift the weeks shopping up two flights of stairs and have carried both my kids in their pram up these stairs at some point. I’m not hench at all but I think my strength comes from knowing that I have to do things rather than being actually strong.

My pain threshhold is low, like most women I hate pain (especially those once a month ones) but when I’ve actually sat down and thought about it I’ve come to the conclusion that a woman’s body is built to endure pain, such as child-birth and the monthly’s. Yeah the pain is bad but sometimes it’s mind over matter. My periods are usually more uncomfortable than painful and I think as women we sometimes milk that at time”s, for all we can. In terms of childbirth, yes it’s bad but when you think about it a lot of women all over the world manage with no pain relief. I managed to have children with only gas and air. Now, I was in pain and it was bad, but if it was that bad would we do it time and time again??? Even if you do go for all the pain relief offered, your body still goes through the trauma and the recovery can also be painful.

Someone made a valid point to me this week she said:

“Biologicallly our hearts and body’s are built for childbirth, mens hearts could not withstand it, but in terms of exertion men are undoubtedly stronger, our pain threshold is what gets us through childbirth not our physical strength”

A good point, women’s bodies are made to reproduce and keep mankind alive no matter how much you argue that what our biological make up suggests, otherwise there would just be a world for of men!!!  So women are strong physically because we need to be, men are stronger as they have the physical ability to be.

Women 0 – Men 1

Emotional is a tricky one, now when I was pregnant and after the kids were born, I was an emotional wreck. I rarely cry now and can honestly say unless it’s a very sad film, something to do with the kids or a previous emotion that has re-surfaced, I won’t cry. I’m not heartless (Although some may believe that) it just takes more than what used to make me cry. The things I deal with at work are very emotional, but if I let each caller get to me I wouldn’t get any work done and wouldn’t be able to help anyone.

A lot of women I know cry a lot and a good cry can release any built up tensions and let you move on from stuff that has been boiling over. Men rarely cry unless there’s something serious going on and worth crying for or sometimes not for those guys that cry when their team loses at footie. Do men not cry as much, as their hearts are cold or is it because they are in touch with their emotions? A strong man I think will show his emotions when needed at the birth of a child, marriage or death, however a guy that cries all the time is not attractive and to most shows weakness.

A friend said something interesting a few weeks ago, when I mentioned my son being over emotional at times and my daughter being less emotional. She said, “as a society we suppress boys from a young age to believe that being emotional is not correct. As children boys are more emotional but then come teenage years this emotion has been suppressed. Boys do not learn how to deal with their emotions thus leaving some confused and unaware when certain emotions are acceptable. Women talk openly about their problems and most find this easy, however men don’t really do this”.

Just because you don’t display emotions does not mean you have your emotions in check and what you’re not letting out could be eating away at you inside!!! This is a difficult one, so to be fair 1 point to women and 1 to men

Women 1 – Men 2

Mentally is an easy one for me, women over the years have shown mental strength in many situations. It took mental strength for Rosa Parks to say enough is enough and not move from her seat on the bus that day, it took mental strength for the suffragette to go against the societies conventional roles for women, to stand up for what they believe in. It takes mental strength for women all over the world to hold together their families, everyday ensuring that things run smoothly. Although it is said that the man is the head of the house we all know really it’s the woman and behind every good man, is a strong-minded woman who helps him along the way.  Women are good at having the mental strength to deal with what life throws at them, where as men struggle more with this.

Women 2 – Men 2

So as it stands we are equal, I know a lot of you won’t agree and I’m even surprised I’ve come to this conclusion, so vote below for who you think is stronger and as always share and comment.

I’m just saying he does it better!!!!!

Some people call me a feminist and I’m not going to lie I strongly believe in equal opportunities for men and women in all respects, may this be in the work place or at home or any other place men and women come together. Whether you believe I’m a feminist or not I am pro independent woman as much as I am for the “New Age Man” (For those of you who don’t know what the new age man is, in brief it is he who works, cooks, cleans and looks after his children on par with his female companion)

So here’s the thing there are some men and those of you who banter with me about this on a daily/weekly basis know who you are who believe I can’t cook.  The fact is I can cook I just don’t like cooking!!!  I love food probably more than I should, my eating out habits over the last few weeks have made me worried about how addicted I am. (But still I continue to eat out I’ll worry when I’m size 14 +)  For me cooking is something I have to do in order to feed my kids, I usually cook from scratch and you will rarely see a microwave meal or packet food in my fridge if there is it’s a very busy week! Cooking is just another chore for me amongst washing, ironing, cleaning etc etc. Sometimes it can be a military operation remember food doesn’t magic its way into the fridge someone has to go and get it, pack and un pack it. In between the school run, washing, afterschool clubs and getting ready for work I have to cook. So whilst I’m cooking I’m multitasking doing homework, washing up as I go along so not to leave the biggest mess, taking calls, looking at the pile of paperwork I have to go through.  Just a typical day in my house and by the time I sit down to eat I’m shattered!!! I’m going to declare now I’m a woman who doesn’t like cooking, I don’t find it fun and if I can get out of it I will.

Cue the new age man!!!! Lucky for me my husband is a great cook, someone who takes pride in cooking and enjoys trying new recipes from Jollof rice to birthday cakes you ask him and he will give it a go. How it works in our house is if his at work I’ll cook but if his off he will cook, dinners are probably nicer and the way to my heart is to feed me so I’m not going to complain!!

Cooking brings people together and those from big families know weekends at the grandparents houses growing up was where you had the best meals and times of your life. But we need to face facts here not all woman can cook and as hard as we try some of us just haven’t got it. I’m not saying give up ladies as this is not an option but I fully admit my husband (My friends will tell you too) is a better cook than me. Cooking is like an art and I was never good at anything artistic, I’ve tried and yeah I have my signature dishes but I have no patience or eye for attention to detail!

There are some men that believe it is a womans duty to cook daily for her man as this is what women are made to do!!! So why do men always brag about being the best cooks?

A few weeks ago I was told by a friend in a conversation/debate she had with a man who appears to be living in the dark ages that he doesn’t care if his partner works all day it is her job as a woman to come home and cook for him. Even if he gets in from work first he will wait for her to cook the evening meal. Cue hand in face action wailing and screaming.

Men with this kind of attitude deserve to be given dog meat mixed in with their stew, some men would rather go hungry than lift their hands to a pot or pan. There is a lot of debate about women not or being unable to cook amongst men they are saying its unattractive if a woman can’t cook, I honestly believe it’s not the be all and end all. There is a lot more important things in life than if your woman can’t cook!!! There are always going to be things in relationships that one person is better at than the other it’s finding a balance and working out what works and what doesn’t.

I was approached in a club a few months back by a guy who asked me can I cook chicken, my reply was yes can you??? This guy was asking me if I could cook when he couldn’t drive and still lived at home with his mum AND I swear he didn’t have a job too!!! He thought I was joking when I asked him if he wanted to cook for me!!! I was the only one laughing the word WASTE sprung to mind!

When I asked some males the question: “If your womans been at work all day and is too tired to cook what you going to do?”

“I would shrug and ask her what’s for dinner! Or get myself a take away! Too tired to cook what nonsense she saying she to tired to live! Haha!”

“I’d cook myself.I don’t expect it if we both worked !!!”

“What if your wife/partner died what you going to do? If a man can’t cook for his partner or kids what kind of  man/father is he?”

“I’d cook for her but a thank you would be nice…”

When I asked the ladies the following question: “Some men believe it’s a woman’s job to cook ladies what are your views?”

“I don’t think that view is no longer the case nowadays both are willing to compromise on every day duties cooking being one of them.    I think that women themselves naturally take on the cooking duties so men tend not to complain they like all that, but nevertheless women like when men take over and do the cooking once in a while, its nice when men can cook and do so when needed.”

“I’m a trained chef, working as a part time cook/cake baker. Whether we like it or not women  are expected to take lead in the kitchen and I admit as others will too, the kitchen is my domain, my space, even a sanctuary but its sooooo boring always cooking and eating your own food! I love a man that can and will cook (no my partner isn’t doin this at present) you wouldn’t be surprised that most famous chef’s are actually men… So why is it that women are the main cooks at home?
I think women cook because we got hungry bellies to feed, where as a man will put his heart into it and perfect that dish!”

It is said as women we take on the role of the nurturer, men look for women who can look after them like their mums, aunts or grandmothers who have for years. I exist only to be a mother to my children and will cook when cooking needs to be done, I’m not here to be a slave in the kitchen to no man so after a hard days work I would like to think my man has the sense to cook for me! (Which he does very well may I add)

It’s all about a little bit of give and take so men stop taking and start giving! Ladies if you can’t cook at least learn or get a man that can but know you have to be good at something else in return!! (I’m not giving suggestions on what!)

To play you out a new favourite song of mine by Sean Paul and Alexis Jordan Got 2 Luv U (I’m not sure about the cooking for you bit!!!)

We are Family

Love them or hate them, fight or play with them your siblings are the closest thing to you there will ever be.

I am the eldest of four and may I add soon to be the shortest of us all as there is probably less that 2 inches in height between me and my little brother who’s 12 (Yes I must have got the short gene) It’s funny growing up I really wished I was an only child! Always having to share fighting for attention and perhaps not always getting what you want as there are more than one of you are a few downsides of having siblings. Now I am happy I’m not an only child as I honestly believe having siblings helps you develop more as a person and allows you to be able to deal with situations better. Now I will admit too sometimes not really liking the whole sharing thing, when you come from a big family and you finally have something for yourself you don’t really want to part with it. But you know it’s right and eventually you will share. Another advantage of having siblings is there is always someone to talk to your never lonely and although at times they will be annoying and break your toys, (My sister ripped the head off my first Barbie) when the shit hits the fan you can rely on them for back up.

My kids fight like cat and dog but once you get over the sibling rivalry and annoying brother v’s sister war they really do love each other. It’s funny watching them grow and overcome milestones and acting in the same ways makes me realise how different yet similar they are.

Lot’s of people are not close to their siblings for one reason or another your first childhood friend grows into adulthood and drifts away, some siblings are mere strangers to that person who they used to eat breathe and sleep each and every day. Some of the most famous faces in TV and music work with their siblings the Jackson’s, Olsen twins, Osmonds, Nolan’s, Kardashain’s, Williams Sisters, Jonas brothers, Waynas brothers, Kings of Leon, Bee Gee’s all to name a few. I wonder how they have managed having their siblings there all the time?

I asked some people what was the one best thing about having a sibling

“Always having people you can rely on and even though you may argue, they will love you unconditionally”

“The friendly competition of life achievements”

“You share and have the same experiences, you have someone to blame shit on but it also makes it harder to get in the bathroom!”

“You can blame things on them and they get the beats!”

As no two people are alike no two siblings are alike although the similarities between me and mine are sometimes obvious. I don’t need to tell people who my youngest sister is as most say she is the taller much thinner version of me. My sisters have the same sense of humour as me when we laugh we cry, the weird family sense of humour that only you get.Some people hate their siblings and although we all push each others buttons at times I wouldn’t be without mine.

Mum brings them home your no longer alone,

You share your toys, she pulls your hair sometimes you wish she wasn’t there,

He makes funny faces he whines and moans he screams out when your on the phone,

You now have someone who follows you everywhere a second shadow and a spy, your sibling is like mum and dad’s third eye.

I’ll tell mum they will tell dad someone’s in trouble wait for the fall out.

At school it’s great for them and you having someone there that’s got your back when everyone else is on the attack.

Then you grow, someone fly’s the nest and things change for worse or for the best.

You change, they change, the time you spend together is valuable.

Your sister, your brother, your friend!

I’ ll leave you with this great song by Sister sledge We are family

I’m a dreamer!

I don’t know about you but my sleep routine is chaotic!! I have worked nights for the last fours years and managing with kids and home its been a struggle. I actually love sleep to be able to switch off and snuggle down when I get the chance is a relief. (If I can get the odd afternoon nap I’m blessed) I don’t deal well at all with sleep deprivation, I can be miserable, catty and sometimes I look in the mirror and think what a state. I’m usually miserable first thing, I’m not a morning person so if you see me with my big sunglasses then you will know the days not going to be a good one.  The one consistent thing in my sleep routine is dreams, I believe I have an amazing imagination as some of the dreams I have are out of this world.

Over the past few weeks I have noticed that I’m not the only one who has strange dreams. I can’t tell you how much I dream every night, at times I don’t remember the dreams till later on in the afternoon. At other times I remember a series of different dreams that on waking up seem very real. I have the bog standard dreams teeth falling out, dreams of my dead grandparents, falling and not being able to move. I know most of my dreams are stress related, the dreams about my grandparents are hard they all always in the present as if they are still here with me. Waking up and realising that they are not is heart wrenching but its nice that I get to see them still. No matter how silly it sounds they were a big part of my life and in some ways still are. (Not many people can communicate with the dead)

I have dreams of significance, if I’m thinking of something perhaps a friend or someone significant I’m likely to dream about them or it.  (This week I was dancing with Michael Jackson I put this down to the trial into his death) I have dreams that a hard to interpret and dreams that I can say I know why I dreamed that. I never have dreams where I wake up in a hot sweat, but I do often wonder why I have dreamed some of the things I have.  When I have to be up earlier than usual I always dream I’m going to be late! Luckily I never am as the fear often stops me from falling into a deep sleep.

It’s strange as to an extent I can control my dreams, if something bad is happening I wake myself up. Most of my dreams are silent a bit like silent movies, very real and in full colour. (I haven’t quite mastered 3D dreams maybe in the future)

I wouldn’t say I’m a light sleeper or a heavy one I guess I’m somewhere in between, when I sleep I often talk, jump, kick and laugh. Last year I had a dream I was shot and felt the pain of the shot as it hit me. I honestly believed until recently that if you died in your dream you died in real life, apparently not as people have told me they have dreamed this and are alive and kicking.

Before my dreams were a regular and predominant part of my life I was a regular day dreamer. Have you ever had the feeling that the moment you just lived has happened before? Dejavu’s were frequent for me I would always feel weird after I relived a moment and often be freaked out. I have had dreams that have also happened like deja vu’s but I know I was dreaming them.

The dreams I hate the most are the ones you wake up from but realise your still asleep a dream within a dream, it makes you feel like your forever trapped in the dream world.

Dreams are said to be:: ” Dreams are the involuntary conjuring up of images, sounds, ideas and feelings as well as other sensations during sleep.” Dreams come from the side of our brain that deals with emotion hence the strange and weird goings on in some of our dreams.

 

Dreams can often be things that we wish or want to happen, I often wandered if the dreams we dream are us in another existence? My dream life is great but often confusing I am very happy to be in reality but if a dream can help me and give me guidance I will use it.

Apparently we all dream and these dreams whether we remember them or not shape our day, it is said that only those who are interested in their dreams remember them so here is a list top five dreams and there meanings:

Pregnant

To be pregnant or see someone who is pregnant means ideas have been conceived

Teeth

Changes in the pattern or pace of life such as leaving or changing school, work, moving, marriage or divorce

Death

Represents the end of an important phase in your life can be interpreted as birth or rebirth

 

Falling

Indicates insecurity and warns of falling from power or grace

 

Sleep

To sleep in a dream means a message is being doubly reinforced

 

Sweet dreams