Three!

So I’ve made it through the terrible twos and now have a threenager Lord help me what with the teenager and the ten going on middle aged boy I might not make it to the next birthday blog. I’ve always said Kodi came to challenge my parenting skills and she continues to do just that.
She is finally sleeping in her own bed after if she could just get that waking up at 5.30 or 6am is not what we want or need her to do then we may get along even better

It’s been fun potty training was easier than we expected after trying persistently from 1-1.5 we gave up. Kodi does what she wants when she wants and just after two she was dry at night without even trying. A few accidents later and we have a dry baby one that says poo every time she wants a wee!!!

Food, as I have said Kodi is her own person she started her time as a two year old eating anything she could get her hands on. Turn time forward and we have food being lobbed across the room that isn’t up to the expectations of our new fussy eater. The diet has consisted of no veg, nothing with sauce on, ham sandwiches without the ham and anything plain. Now although you may think we’ll she eats fruit and meat you haven’t tried picking up plate after plate of food off the floor. If she’s in the mood for fruit she will eat it if she’s not yep you guessed it on the floor.

Constipation are we allowed to talk crap??? The fussy eaters club has caused some irregular bowel movements!!! When Elf was born I’d never realised how much shit could come out of one small being. When we brought her home we forgot that they cry poop and need to be fed. At 2am every night for the first few weeks this was the routine… She was regular and like clockwork for a few months and then it became less regular, apparently breast fed babies have less waste. I’ve been brought up knowing that going daily once or even twice is normal at age two we have a little person who goes once a week if we are lucky!!! Cue visit to the dietician and these funny seeds she now has spread on her toast to make her regular….Kodi like her brother is a keen runner in fact any time you let her down she tries to run off. We should have used reins but she would have just pulled them off. So now we keep fit by chasing her everywhere she goes. As she is approaching three she has calmed some what…

After taking thousands of photos of Kodi she now loves a selfie and is a fully fledged member of the tongue gang!! If your tongues not out your not having enough fun!!

Kodi should have been a boy she loves the colour blue, hates, dresses and loves dinosaurs. I have had to learn to compromise with her, now If I force her to wear a dress which is about once a week she wears converse. I’ve given up with pink clothes, she has the odd item but now I mainly buy blue in fact she looks better in blue maybe she just a has style. Kodi is a tough kid she loves digging in mud (she also likes eating it) she will climb the tallest climbing frame and search for creepy crawlies in the garden. She’s an adventurer with her own mind and we just go with her. Some people believe young children should not be allowed to think for themselves and although we guide her Kodi knows exactly what she wants and us hard to persuade otherwise. I hope her strong mind leads her to greatness.

Tantrums if she hasn’t had the most tantrums out of her siblings then I’d be amazed. The throw yourself on the floor embarrass your mum making her look like she failed at parenting kind of tantrums!! Yep she has them at the most inappropriate of times. I’m sat here in Disney whilst she sleeps watching kids have tantrums and smiling as I am happy it’s not my turn or my kid again! I’ve become a tantrum pro, at child three I actually don’t care yes its embarrassing but it’s not the end of our little world. If she wants to kick scream throw herself about I let her and within moments calms restored and we are on our way. Kodi is like having twins she has her good side and her bad when she is good she’s amazing a delight to be with and a really beauty. But when she’s bad shit she’s awful, ever heard of the rhyme ‘There was a little girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead… when she was good she was very very good and when she was bad she was horrid’ yep that’s Kodi.

People meet Kodi fall in love with her her elfie look is a thing of the past she has a beautiful smile, big brown eyes and cute little curls (that she still won’t put in a hair band)

Kodi likes to get herself dressed which for my st children is a simple exercise. For Kodi this means a battle of what we have chosen for her to wear against what she wants to wear! After our morning errands she comes home marches to her bed and puts her PJS back on

The journey to three has been eventful we have had some remarkable moments from our little elf princess like the breaking of the TV with the toy broom or the dangling of the worm in front of my face in the park. We have also had the most amazing moments how loving she is with her siblings and friends and her face this week when she met Mickey Mouse.
Another year has gone far to quickly and we can’t wait for the next chapter Nursery…. let’s hope she’s not excluded before reception!!!!!

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The List

We all have someone we have a major crush on someone be it celebrity or real life, but is it healthy to have crushes when you’re in a relationship or marriage?

Let’s talk about my list!

It’s an ongoing joke with me and Mr B, every time I come across a new hottie he goes on the list. Every time I mentioned the list, Mr B grunts and rolls his eyes. So me being me I told him to go and get his own list and so far I know of two women he has on it. (One he has strong competition)

Anyway, if you are still confused “The List” (which gets longer by the day and isn’t a real document that I scribble on every night) is a list of guys I’d like to have sex with. OMG! I here you all screech, as many of my friends have said when I’ve told them about the list “Your husbands ok with this?” Well we are still here, together and the list has only been going for about a year or so, so I guess there is no issues with it!

Now, I said a list of guys I’d like to have sex with these are all famous guys so it’s probably not going to happen but I’ve been honest with Mr B and said if I go out and Mr X is in the club don’t expect me home!  To be honest having one man is trouble but having two making claims on me would be too much so all I’m asking for is one night. In reality with kids, work and a husband where am I finding the time to have sex with Mr X and let’s say Drake? It’s not going to happen, how am I going to do the commute unless his moving to London and can fit in between the school run and lunch time then it’s clearly not going to work.

I asked a few people on twitter what they thought by posing the question “Is it healthy to banter about people you fancy when you’re in a relationship”:

” Yes, the key for me is laughter and trust. BUT I do think it depends on if it’s an unobtainable celeb or “Natalie from work”

“I don’t see anything wrong in it, both parties should be secure enough to share absolutely anything”

“I personally wouldn’t leave my man for a celeb… but I kinda like the idea of a free pass….”

“It depends how secure the relationship is, depends how much trust there is.. If so, then yeah its fine cos it’s bein real!!”

I managed to be able to get 2 of my celeb/men of power crushes to follow me on twitter by being cheeky it does actually get you far sometimes I won’t tell you who they are but here are ten of my celeb crushes in no particular order so guys please don’t get upset if you’re not at the top:

• Chucky Venn
• Drake (As if it wasn’t obvious)
• Idris Elba
• Kanye West
• Obama
• Scott Malsen
• David Beckham
• Wentworth Miller
• Will Smith
• Russell Brand (Not so much based on looks more that his a bit of an animal)

Now your done drooling we can start wrapping up!!!

So there’s ten off my list and I could probably give you another fifteen at least, all I think are good-looking and all I imagine have got some bedroom moves that would interest most women. (I don’t care if it’s not in the bedroom I’m honestly not that fussy!) Unfortunately, I’ve only had a dream about one of them and before anything happened I was rudely awoken by Mr B for some kind of wife or mother duty.

So why do I have these fantasies? Why am I thinking about having sex with other men when I have one at home? Well I guess we all have desires, needs, dreams and stuff we can never have and seening as I have everything in life I want or need, something I can’t have, maybe a pleasant distraction. I don’t sit and perv over these guys 24/7 I haven’t got time, but if they are on the telly or I hear their voice on the radio I’m thinking mmmmmm I need me some of that.  Granted all the men on my list are not my unusual type but we are talking one night here, so who cares! The dirty thoughts and fantasies I have about these guys are no different to the one’s guys have and no different to the sensations women have been getting while reading 50 shades of grey. Anyway now you know about the list why not go and make your own while listening to some Drake

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zzP29emgpg

Waste Mums

Everyone always think that mum’s are the best, we know best and are the best providers of care for our children! Well I have news for you all there are a new breed of mums out there that don’t give a shit!

Let’s hold off on babyfathers for a while and concentrate for this blog on the group of mum’s I call “Waste Mum’s”

I’m not sticking up for whack Dad’s at all and rate single working mum’s who are really grinding to bring up their kid’s but it has to be known some of the so called fairer species are not as fair as they seem.

How to spot a waste mum?

Waste mum are sometimes not that easy to spot and if you don’t know they have kids you may just think they are normal girls out living life but dont be fooled.

• Women that complain about their childs father when they are no better
• Women who dress to impress while thier children are looking like orphans Annie or Oliver (Hairs done nails done everything did but your childs nappies hanging like it’s been on all day)
• Women who have no interest in their childs education
• Women who constantly swear and be little their kids (Cunts a favourite word they use for them)
• Women who bring a number of random men around their child expecting the child to call him Dad
• Women who palm their kids off on anyone that will have them

So why do women like this have kids? The common answer one we all know well is to trap “That guy” delibrately get pregnant so he is forever yours, us sensible people know this doesn’t work! Because if his got you pregnant he may have a few others pregnant as well. These women are then left with kids they never really wanted and take all their anger and frustrations out on them!

The children of these women are like little lost souls and though lack of love will grow to believe this behaviour is normal and most will continue the cycle.

Freuds attachement theory is based on how a mothers love and care is important within the first year of their life. If attachments aren’t made within this time any future relationship is said to be doomed.

I’ve never really cared much what anyone thought of me as a person but if someone was to be critical of me as a mum I would honestly flip, being a good mum is something I’ve worked harder for than anything else. Ensuring my children are well balanced, well educated, well mannered and have a greater life than mine is of the upmost importance to me. When I see mum’s who don’t care about their kids it angers me and makes me sad as there are so many women out there that can’t have children ready to give a great home.

Some of you may know the story where a few months ago I had a fight with 2 girls in the park who thought it was ok to take drugs in the toilets while there kids ran a mock in the park! The situation riled me so much I turned into she hulk it’s girls like these that shouldn’t have kids don’t care about them and certainly do not deserve them. If I honestly believed a child was being neglected or mistreated by their parent I would call Social Services or the police and hope they are taken away from the dreadful situations they face everyday. Working in a childrens home I know that sometimes Social Services intervention can be detrimental to a childs future, but living with a negelctful mum could eventually be the end of a childs life.

Most mums I know are great they do everything for their children and more but we have to remember there are a lot of great dad’s out there some whom are equally doing the role of mum and dad and not getting the recognition.

Being a mum is no easy job there is no handbook and most of us walk into motherhood blind, once we have a child we have their entire life to look after them as even when they are adults you don’t switch off caring continues. What I’m trying to say is none of us are perfect we can only try our best and if we genuinely try our children will flourish.

Road Man For Life

For those of you that are not aware of the term “Road Man” I’ll give you a quick definition

A road man is someone who sells drugs either to get by or get rich, they may have the live by the gun die by the gun motto. They come in many colours, shapes and forms usually with a string of baby mama’s or drama that surround them. If they haven’t been in prison it means they have not yet been stupid enough to get caught. Depending on the level of this road man (We will talk about the levels a bit later) they may still live at home with their mum and most are still living in the area they grew up. A road man is usually a night-time kind of guy, someone who is rarely seen in daylight and always chilling with the man them. The Road man may also be known as a bum, someone who doesn’t want to get a “REAL”  job, waste man or gangster!!!! (Known as a bum as most people haven’t worked out what they really do)

A bit like the highway man of the early 1600’s a guy who will do whatever he can to be that guy.

At some point in your life ladies, you may have dated one of these men, and guys you may have been one but how do you become a road man??? Well after a little discussion with a friend this week we decided that there are varying levels of the road man which go:

Level 1 Novice /Beginner/Runner

A guy who’s just started out getting to know the ropes, does all the running around for the top man. Probably young but not always guy’s who want to make quick money and have dreams that are hard to make reality.

Level 2

His making more money, his not the top dog but his getting there. His a hustler and for what ever reason his hustling hard

Level 3

His been from bottom to top and now his top dog. Cars, money, women he may have it all. His running things now but how long is it before he runs into trouble?

So why do guys choose to live this life? To most ladies it’s not an attractive life style but to be real, every girl secretly loves a bad boy and we have all been with one at some point in our life. (You got to do the bad boys before you meet the good ones) If a guys got the swag, the car, the money his lifestyle choice might be attractive. Even though he might be telling a few other girls what he is telling you there is something about him that is making him “That Guy”!

Listen to this next track by Ace Hood – Hustle Hard (Remix) ft. Rick Ross, Lil Wayne

So the song Hustle Hard is saying that guys live a hustler life because there are mouths to feed and family to look after which I guess is true. I’m not condoning the road man lifestyle but for those young guys on road in today’s Britain it is shit hard. Even if you get a standard education that does not guarantee you a great job. How many people do you know that studied so hard but are working in dead-end jobs. Current rates of unemployment are at an all time high if you’re a young guy who perhaps doesn’t have a dad around and has a mum and younger and siblings to support this is a quick way to make money. Meet Jermaine his motto is sell some bags make some money feed the family, mum’s had it hard she may not know what you’re doing but is truly grateful moneys coming in so doesn’t question where the new clothes and trainers are coming from. Jermaine has had it tough his Dad walked out on his mum and his five siblings and him being the eldest means he has to step up. His finished school with no exams, mum’s always sick so he has had to look after her. Jermaine thinks it’s real easy, this is a steeping stone something he will do until the right job comes along. What he doesn’t realise is once you’ve started making big money it gets addictive and is hard to stop.

He starts off selling green and before you know it his selling pills, coke and heroin. The addicts he loaves, is what’s keeping him and his family afloat, the life style he has chosen has taken over his life the more money he makes the less easier it is to leave.  Five to Ten Years on everyone know’s him, he has status , the youngers are looking up to him as some kind of God Father or Mentor. They want to be just like him. He can probably have any girl he likes but there is one or two that he takes care of the wifeys the ones who are raising his kids.

But it’s not all plain sailing in the early stages he smoked a lot he could have got addicted to a number of different substances, owing the guy at the top money. He could turn into the addict leaving him with no money and a habit to feed.

Being at the top also has its price. Our guy Jermaine is always in some kind of beef with rival gangs or even those on his team that decide to betray him. He always has to watch his back and is constantly dodging bullets. One day when he is caught off guard a bullet hits him, almost killing him. This forces to carry his own weapons and armour to protect himself and those moving with him.

Jermaine is not only dodging his enemies his endlessly running from police, they know all his movements where he lives, his girlfriends, his team, his car and even where his mum lives. One wrong move could land him in Jail with no get out of jail free card. Our guy has already been in jail a few times and if he gets caught again he will get BIG BIRD (Big Bird is a serious jail sentence)

The risk’s of the road man life out way for me all the money and status I wouldn’t want to be watching my back all the time as much as the money would be great you can’t spend it if your dead. The con’s of the road man life style definitely out way the pro’s. For everyday people like you and I the road man life is a sad one as we are paying into a system that they constantly choose to use and abuse. If my daughter bought this kind of guy home he would not get over the threshold, I guess dirty money just isn’t as appealing for me as it is for others. Some of you may think that Jermaine took the easy way out but did he really?

I’ll leave you with that question and a final song  The Street Code by Ksounds

Money V’s Love

Big said more money more problems, Jessie J is saying it’s not about the money and Aloe Blacc still just want’s a dollar.Let me not even get started on 50cent.

I don’t care what anyone says money is a big big thing in our lives from the moment you realise what money is and what it can get you, you want it. Whether it pay bills, to buy that dress or to put food on the table we all need and use money on a daily basis and sometimes we take it for granted.

So a friend said to me you can’t have girls and be in love with no money and I honestly thought he was wrong but on reflection he might have been right.

You all know I’m the modern-day woman, if I have to pay for the meal it’s cool. (You know I don’t like cooking so I’m always going to be the one suggesting) I always want to go out to eat and can not expect a man to be paying for me to eat out all the time just because I’m a hungry belly. If a guy is ok to split the bill or take turns in paying I would be fine with that. I know I like to go out to eat a lot and if I want to sit nice have a few drinks and eat my three courses peacefully I don’t want the guy sweating about how much this is going to cost him! This week my husband took me to eat at the Oxo tower restaurants as a treat (We had no kids for the night), a lovely restaurant and very pricey if he didn’t have money we would never have gone. This restaurant was over posh, the service was amazing and the view of London was one of the best I’ve seen. If you don’t have money you don’t get to have experiences, if my husband had taken me there on a first date I would have thought he was rich and most females would expect nothing less from that date on.

If you flash your cash a bit too much your setting your self up for failure, look at Ian Beale in Eastenders how many wives has he waved his money at???? So here he is flashing it at Mandy who is blatantly not interested and is in it for what she can get.

The other day I was watching one of those programmes that did the 2011 rundown and realised Hugh Hefner Mr Playboy himself got engaged only for his fiance to leave him. All that money, all those women and still nobody to love.

Some common beliefs are:

• With money you can demonstrate tokens of love, reliability

• broke love is usually stronger (Your struggling but you get by and your happy)

• Broke people don’t fall in love (Really broke like JSA broke)

• Guys with money have no time, so they buy gifts but the love is not actually there

I asked the females

You suggest going to a restaurant on a date with a guy you just met. Who should pay or who do you expect to pay?

“Men should always pay on the first date, if he doesn’t he won’t be seeing me again!”

“Whoever suggests it should pay!” (3 ladies said this)

“Dutch” (4 ladies said this)

“You ask you pay!”

“The man should always pay on the first date regardless of who asked first! #oldskool”

“I would go with dutch definitely although would appreciate the gesture as its sweet”

“Personally I believe in equals so i would offer to go halves”

“I expect him to pay but I’ll have money on case he wants to split it!”

“If I suggested it I would pay unless you’re in a relationship never go out without money in your pocket!”

Males were asked

You are going on a  date with a girl you have just met she suggests dinner and names a restaurant she frequents who should pay?

“She should pay she offered!”

“Split half way. If she says no, you pay. Gold digger”

“The guy should have enough to cover it just in case”

 

It’s hard to be in love and say money doesn’t matter for example

Female: Babe don’t get me anything for christmas

Male: You sure

Female: No we can’t afford it

Male: OK

Christmas day our lady friend has no present and our male friend is in the dog house!!!

Women love men to lavish money and gifts on them, no matter how much we say we don’t it’s lovely to buy your man a present but if he buys you one it’s something you can show off to your friends. If he buys you something big it’s something you can show off to the world something that he might say is a token of my love. Tokens of love as said previously are usually for guilty reasons, a lady may get a new bag for no occasions because her husband hasn’t shown her any attention or he because he forgot a previous occasion. Unless its new love how many people get tokens of love regularly?? Not hating and if you do get this regular great but I would much rather my husband take me somewhere nice than buy me a bag that everyone else has or even wants.

How many husbands/partners are currently busting there arses at work through January because their better or not so better halves have racked up the credit card bills.(Not mine he sighs in relief) Some women are cool with their other halves racking up debt just so they can live as good as their friends if not better. When it comes to money men are competitive but women are just as bad!

I know single ladies look for lot’s of qualities in a man and having a job is one of them, but how much money does a man need to earn before a single lady takes him seriously so that she knows if they get married and start a family he can support her??? When I met my husband he didn’t have a great job but at the time nor did I, I didn’t ever worry about if he could support me because we were in love and that was all that mattered. But now we are in a time of great economic depression are we looking more at someones bank balance than what they have to offer as a person????

Love and money is a bit like brains and beauty, his probably good-looking and has loads of cash but is absolutely brain-dead and the only person he loves is himself. (Unless your Ian Beale)

Just as long as a guy doesn’t look broke like a joke, dresses decently and is good to you I really don’t think it matters how many 000’s are on the end of his pay check. Maybe if someone gave Aloe Blacc a chance he wouldn’t need a dollar.

d

 

 

 

 

I’m just saying he does it better!!!!!

Some people call me a feminist and I’m not going to lie I strongly believe in equal opportunities for men and women in all respects, may this be in the work place or at home or any other place men and women come together. Whether you believe I’m a feminist or not I am pro independent woman as much as I am for the “New Age Man” (For those of you who don’t know what the new age man is, in brief it is he who works, cooks, cleans and looks after his children on par with his female companion)

So here’s the thing there are some men and those of you who banter with me about this on a daily/weekly basis know who you are who believe I can’t cook.  The fact is I can cook I just don’t like cooking!!!  I love food probably more than I should, my eating out habits over the last few weeks have made me worried about how addicted I am. (But still I continue to eat out I’ll worry when I’m size 14 +)  For me cooking is something I have to do in order to feed my kids, I usually cook from scratch and you will rarely see a microwave meal or packet food in my fridge if there is it’s a very busy week! Cooking is just another chore for me amongst washing, ironing, cleaning etc etc. Sometimes it can be a military operation remember food doesn’t magic its way into the fridge someone has to go and get it, pack and un pack it. In between the school run, washing, afterschool clubs and getting ready for work I have to cook. So whilst I’m cooking I’m multitasking doing homework, washing up as I go along so not to leave the biggest mess, taking calls, looking at the pile of paperwork I have to go through.  Just a typical day in my house and by the time I sit down to eat I’m shattered!!! I’m going to declare now I’m a woman who doesn’t like cooking, I don’t find it fun and if I can get out of it I will.

Cue the new age man!!!! Lucky for me my husband is a great cook, someone who takes pride in cooking and enjoys trying new recipes from Jollof rice to birthday cakes you ask him and he will give it a go. How it works in our house is if his at work I’ll cook but if his off he will cook, dinners are probably nicer and the way to my heart is to feed me so I’m not going to complain!!

Cooking brings people together and those from big families know weekends at the grandparents houses growing up was where you had the best meals and times of your life. But we need to face facts here not all woman can cook and as hard as we try some of us just haven’t got it. I’m not saying give up ladies as this is not an option but I fully admit my husband (My friends will tell you too) is a better cook than me. Cooking is like an art and I was never good at anything artistic, I’ve tried and yeah I have my signature dishes but I have no patience or eye for attention to detail!

There are some men that believe it is a womans duty to cook daily for her man as this is what women are made to do!!! So why do men always brag about being the best cooks?

A few weeks ago I was told by a friend in a conversation/debate she had with a man who appears to be living in the dark ages that he doesn’t care if his partner works all day it is her job as a woman to come home and cook for him. Even if he gets in from work first he will wait for her to cook the evening meal. Cue hand in face action wailing and screaming.

Men with this kind of attitude deserve to be given dog meat mixed in with their stew, some men would rather go hungry than lift their hands to a pot or pan. There is a lot of debate about women not or being unable to cook amongst men they are saying its unattractive if a woman can’t cook, I honestly believe it’s not the be all and end all. There is a lot more important things in life than if your woman can’t cook!!! There are always going to be things in relationships that one person is better at than the other it’s finding a balance and working out what works and what doesn’t.

I was approached in a club a few months back by a guy who asked me can I cook chicken, my reply was yes can you??? This guy was asking me if I could cook when he couldn’t drive and still lived at home with his mum AND I swear he didn’t have a job too!!! He thought I was joking when I asked him if he wanted to cook for me!!! I was the only one laughing the word WASTE sprung to mind!

When I asked some males the question: “If your womans been at work all day and is too tired to cook what you going to do?”

“I would shrug and ask her what’s for dinner! Or get myself a take away! Too tired to cook what nonsense she saying she to tired to live! Haha!”

“I’d cook myself.I don’t expect it if we both worked !!!”

“What if your wife/partner died what you going to do? If a man can’t cook for his partner or kids what kind of  man/father is he?”

“I’d cook for her but a thank you would be nice…”

When I asked the ladies the following question: “Some men believe it’s a woman’s job to cook ladies what are your views?”

“I don’t think that view is no longer the case nowadays both are willing to compromise on every day duties cooking being one of them.    I think that women themselves naturally take on the cooking duties so men tend not to complain they like all that, but nevertheless women like when men take over and do the cooking once in a while, its nice when men can cook and do so when needed.”

“I’m a trained chef, working as a part time cook/cake baker. Whether we like it or not women  are expected to take lead in the kitchen and I admit as others will too, the kitchen is my domain, my space, even a sanctuary but its sooooo boring always cooking and eating your own food! I love a man that can and will cook (no my partner isn’t doin this at present) you wouldn’t be surprised that most famous chef’s are actually men… So why is it that women are the main cooks at home?
I think women cook because we got hungry bellies to feed, where as a man will put his heart into it and perfect that dish!”

It is said as women we take on the role of the nurturer, men look for women who can look after them like their mums, aunts or grandmothers who have for years. I exist only to be a mother to my children and will cook when cooking needs to be done, I’m not here to be a slave in the kitchen to no man so after a hard days work I would like to think my man has the sense to cook for me! (Which he does very well may I add)

It’s all about a little bit of give and take so men stop taking and start giving! Ladies if you can’t cook at least learn or get a man that can but know you have to be good at something else in return!! (I’m not giving suggestions on what!)

To play you out a new favourite song of mine by Sean Paul and Alexis Jordan Got 2 Luv U (I’m not sure about the cooking for you bit!!!)

Hello down there!!

Do any of you remember the yellow pages advert? The one where the girl holds the mistletoe and the boy tries to kiss her but his too short? If you can’t click on the link to refresh your memoryYellow Pages

Now that your memory has been fully refreshed after stepping back in time to christmas 1992 let’s get back to the subject in hand!! I have chosen to write if you haven’t already guessed about “SHORT MEN”!

The issue of how tall men are has been a recurring theme in many of my conversations for the last ten months, previously the height of the male population never bothered me but recently I have become more and more concerned!

Why am I so bothered I hear you ask and my reason is I strongly believe that somewhere down the line a majority of  men perhaps those born mid to late 80’s and beyond were deprived on the gene that makes you tall. Now some of you may think I’m over exaggerating the situation, but it has been drawn to my attention by many friends in all walks of life that today’s variety of men are lacking in height.

I’m not exactly tall I’m 5’4 which is a reasonable height for a lady not too small and not too tall in high heels I probably average 5’7, anyway I have a perfect BMI so I’m cool. So here I am on a night out in heels with friends and this has been a regular occurrence so there is no particular night in mind, as I gaze across the dance floor and look around at perspective guys for my single lady friends (Who are all around the same height as me) I notice one thing and one thing only and in my head I ask myself the question “Where did all the tall guys go?”

I’m not trying to offend any guys under 5’8 who maybe reading this I am merely writing about my observations, most of the guys I have noticed are really short anything from 5’6 and below. I’m almost certain I have seen guys below 5ft which for me is bordering on dwarfism!!

It’s not just me and my friends that have noticed that guys are getting shorter, they have been talking about the issue on some well known TV and radio shows too.

A friend of mine has actually made up a name for short guys which she calls “Double A Double M” Action Against Munchkin Men, as it really seems somewhere down the line in Munchkin Land a few of the Munchkins detracted from the yellow brick Road and hit London Town.

Let’s look at music for Instance UK artist Tinchy Stryder is 25 and is said to be 5’3, Dappy from Ndubz is 24 and definitely no taller than 5’6. Scientifically guys stop growing in there late teens early twenties so the guys I have been seeing who are pushing 30 are not going to grow anymore and either:

*Smoked too much in their early teens stumping their growth

*Didn’t eat their greens (Or Green giant Sweetcorn)

*G0t the short gene (Pulled the short straw)

There have been a few occassions when I have been chatted up by some brave short guys and if this is your thing and you don’t mind bending down and breaking your back I salute you. I just really wouldn’t  want to be with someone that is shorter than my 12 year old brother. (Who for the record is almost as tall as me) I’m not saying that these guys are ugly at all as some of them are very nice looking, it’s just really not my thing I want someone who is able to sweep me off my feet without worrying they are going to drop me!!!

For some girls being with a taller guy is about security, being able to feel that he can protect you when you need protecting but I guess this is purley pychlogical as the saying goes the bigger they are the harder they fall. If you are a tall girl going out with someone that is a lot shorter than you can be partonising for the guy, always looking up at her and when she wears heels it’s even worse.

I have noticed that height is as touchy subject for guys as girls and their weight, last week I told my husband he was short and we were nearly on our way to the divorce courts (His 5’8 which is pretty average for a guy)

When I was in the US a few months back I noticed that there are more tall guys than short ones but I was in a place where everything is big so I guess this should not have been a suprise!

I asked a few ladies I know for their views on short guys and got sent the following comments:

“Short guys are a NO NO! The twins on Towie =Cringe”

“Short is when they (guys) feel insecure when you are wearing heels!”

“I’ve been with short guys and didnt find it most attractive however, I’ve learnt not to underestimate them as they can sometimes feel they have got more to prove so put in a little bit extra effort. Short guys to me would be shorter than myself (under 5’8) however I have now found that I actually think too short for a guy would probably be under 6ft (Which is’nt really as tall as it sounds)!”

“I prefer being with a short guy, because I’m short myself (5’2). Not someone that’s shorter than me, that’s too short but prefrably a bit taller. Can not see myself being with a tall guy. Height does matter!”

So mixed views on short guys but overall it appears size does matter whether it is too tall or too short, maybe as ladies we are just too fussy and need to accept people for the way they are. One of my friends sent this message to me which I think is a nice way to end this piece:

“I’m 5’2 on a good day anything shorter than 5’3 is too short, but love comes in all shapes and sizes and what they don’t have in height a lot of the time is made up through personality. Sometimes what you wouldn’t feel instantly attracted to turns out to  be exactly what you want. Look at Tom Cruise!”

Teenage Mum

If you didn’t already know I’m 26 with a  9-year-old  daughter and if you good at doing your sums and listened at school (Actually it doesn’t take a genius) you will have realised that I was once a Teenage Mum.

People may read this with the usual stereotypical views of teenage motherhood and realise I don’t conform to any of them
Q. Did I get pregnant to get a council flat????
A. No!!!
Q. Are you a chav??
A.No
Q. Am I a single mum on benefits?
A. No I’m married and work!!
Q. How many baby fathers and children do I have????
A. Two children, one husband

So now we have that bit out the way, feel free to leave any answered questions at the bottom of the blog! Back to the point. At 17, I became pregnant with my daughter Kyra. I was scared, confused and knew my parents would either attempt or go through with killing me but in that one moment of madness I, like many other teenagers in the UK, took that risk and had unprotected sex.

I was luckier that most teenage girls when I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend took responsibility for his actions, we were young and in love and he vowed to stand by me no matter what. Telling my parents was probably the hardest thing I had ever done (harder than labour – and that’s hard), it must be every parents worst nightmare for their child to come home and say “I’m pregnant” or “I’ve got someone pregnant”. As a parent, you have so many hopes and dreams for your children and when those words come out of their mouth the world you had built crumbles to the ground!!!! I was at college studying Travel and Tourism with aspirations to travel the world. What my parents didn’t know was that I hated college! The course I was on was not for me, the girls were becoming a clique and I hadn’t attended a lesson for weeks!!! Before I announced I was pregnant, I quit college, having decided it just wasn’t for me. At the time, I had a part-time job and even that was a struggle as I was constantly being sick they call it ‘morning sickness’ but what they don’t tell you is it can come at anytime, I was sick morning, noon and night I became anaemic and had to leave work as I couldn’t cope. In between all this, I had to deal with telling my parents and, NO! They were not at all pleased. The fact that I left it very late in the day to tell them probably did not help either. Nevertheless, after the shock, anger and tears they supported me on my journey and still do today. Again in this respect I believe I was lucky.

I came from a good home but I was a wayward teenager from the age of 13 (after the death of my granddad) it all went down hill getting in trouble at school, late nights, smoking, drinking and boys ruled most of my life – a toxic combination. I was on the road to self-destruction. Looking back, I was a bit of a nightmare and many of my friends who knew me then and know me now will tell you I have changed immensely. Back then, I wasn’t the nicest of people and had little respect for myself or others around me!!

Being a teenager, I was selfish and over-confident and if it didn’t benefit me I didn’t want to know. Yet these days were coming to an end, I was soon going to have someone else to care for, someone who depended on me and someone else to love. I often wandered how I would cope. I wasn’t scared but during the pregnancy with one thing or another I was always stressed. I didn’t care what people thought about me and I adopted the “Shit Happens” attitude as it was happening to me!!!

My journey as a teenage mum taught me many invaluable lessons. For any teenage mother, a lesson quickly learnt is to find out who your friends are. Those that have stuck by me all know who they are. My friends have supported me through ups and downs, been there as a shoulder to cry on, been babysitters, laughed and helped me to have a good time when things were hard. When people have a baby everyone flocks to you to have their say but it’s those that remain and stay true that are the ones who really care!! (To them – I give thanks)
My daughter was born in August 2002, two months before my 18th Birthday. I was in labour for a total of 28 hours (I won’t go in to details but it was traumatic) and finally my little girl arrived at 6.14.oz with ten fingers and ten toes – she was perfect. My mum helped me get through the labour and I don’t think I would have managed if she was not there. My husband cut the cord and there was not a dry eye in the room.

Starting a new job opened doors for me I wanted to strive to be a role model for other new mums, I wanted to help people and show everyone that I was more than just a teenage mum. I started work based training and completed two NVQ’s level 2 and 3 I then went on to do a Social Science degree graduating in 2009. My achievements flowed I got married, started volunteering, had another baby, learnt to drive and started a new career path.  In the years that followed I was given the name  supermum by my friends and I showed everyone that I was more than a teenage mum. I’m not advocating teenage pregnancy but I think with the right help, love and support from those around you a young mum can turn out to be a wonderful inspirational woman!!!  None of us a perfect parents and all we can do is our best my daughter has turned out fine and I wouldn’t change her for the world!!!

My journey was difficult but I over came for others sadly it’s not the same the UK has one of the highest rates of teen pregnancies, a lot of these girls are not in education, don’t have the support of the child’s father, family and friends and are left social outcast on low incomes in a cycle of poverty. What we see in the media today about teenage mum’s is never positive we don’t see people who go on to change their lives and we don’t see how good they are as mums. What we are shown is the stereotypical view of teenage mums and girls that live up to this which is a shame as I believe there are many that do not fall into this category whose children are their world and they try to do everything in the power to change the situation they are in.

I got back!!!

As I stared at the TV in my hotel room the American weight watchers advert came on, it’s a bit like the one in the UK with the transformation of Jennifer Hudson’s size and shape. The once large singer has a new weight and slender shape which she is currently showing the world.

As women we all have some form of issue with our shape and weight too fat or too thin, too much breast or not enough, ass like an ironing board or an ass you could eat you dinner off. Too curvy or not curvy enough we never seem to be happy and with the increase in surgery enhancements we can have the perfect body! (Some still wouldn’t be happy with this)

I like to think of myself as someone who is generally happy with my size and shape, I have ok breasts that don’t sag too much (after breast-feeding two kids I’m lucky) I have great legs, my back up isn’t perfect but its got shape and I’m in-between a size 8-10. My stomachs not flat but I have stretch marks and two kids to show for that I could work on it but I guess I’m lazy. I don’t go to the gym and as my friends will tell you I don’t watch what I eat although I do eat healthy mostly. In fact I can out eat most of my friends without putting on any weight, some say I’m lucky I put it down to running around after my kids and genetics. My mums slim I take after her if I had got my Dads genes this piece may have turned out differently.

I have not always been as happy with my shape and weight I guess we all go through phases, I used to be stick thin and even sometimes a size 6 was too big!! Having kids changed my weight and shape I always had a good top half but now my bottom half was good too.

I know people and you probably do too who are forever on a diet, people who constantly moan about their weight when there is frankly more fat in a kids happy meal!!! Calorie counters are the worst, girls who persist on telling you how many calories are in each piece of food you eat (Oh fuck off and have a burger)

Girls who are always on the latest celeb diet are usually the ones that don’t need to be. Girls with great looks and good figures persecute themselves by frequently working out and in extreme cases not eating.
Being obsessed by weight can be dangerous we have all seen the cruel effects of bulimia and anorexia and how these two eating disorders can dramatically change and ruin a person’s life. If I miss a meal I get cranky, I am a bit like a baby and need to be fed every so often otherwise I totally freak out. Last night when I was out I actually felt over weight (there is nothing wrong with my weight but) the amount of under size 0 girls who were out was actually scary, I saw girls with their hip bones sticking out who were terribly underweight!!! I really wanted to phone the jerk man from South London to feed the girls of Southend who were all morbidly under weight.

A lot of people I know spend time at the gym (or on the Wii Fit) I admit to using the Wii Fit but more as a means of entertainment and I have been to the gym once to workout. I was so hungry when I left that on my way home I picked up thew biggest bar of chocolate I could find and bought myself and big bag of chips!!!  I never went to the gym again and the thought of going make me feel sick! I do sometimes jog but this is something I do to clear my brain and feel refereshed and not about loosing weight. I aint going to lie there are probably a few people out there that could do with loosing a few pounds (or stone) but strictly for health reasons such as prevention of Heart attacks and Diabetes. There are girls out there who constantly are in a regime of exercise that is extreme where food barely touches there lips!

There is so much pressure for women to look good-looking in the papers and magazines we are forever seeing celebs being mocked for being to fat or too thin there never seems to be that in-between. Take the only way is Essex girls, I love the show the girls have great figures but “NO CARBS BEFORE MARBS” Shut up if I didn’t eat carbs I’d die you need them in your diet as part of a healthy diet so I say don’t be cutting them out. It’s such a shame that what we look like is such a big issue that even young kids are watching their weight not happy with their shape and are becoming victims of eating disorders.

I asked a few men that I know what they liked in terms of a woman’s size and shape here’s what a couple of them said

“Jokes, well I seem to go for chunkier chicks really. I don’t like super skinny anyway – but they can be nice to look at. A buff, hard, well proportioned body is best… Not too chunky, but not too thin.”

“I’m not interested in anything over-size 12 unless it’s a tight 14 she can’t have flab!
But on same scale not on anything under size 8 Think there is too much pressure on women to be thin but not so much from men anymore”

I do think there is a bit of pressure from men for us women to look good but it’s fair to say some guys like bigger girls and sometimes this is more so with different cultures. “The bigger the berry the sweeter the juice” is a phrase that I’ve heard a lot or “More cushion for the pushing” is one a certain male who I won’t expose uses!!!

Ladies whatever your shape be happy you were made that way as long as you’re not going to dangerous lengths over or under feeding yourself do you and what makes you happy

I’ll leave you with this last song click the link and sing along

I like big Butts

On your head!

Long, short, thick, thin, straight, curly,  braided, extensions, dreads or weave! Hair is a topic that affects both sexes! Granted, to us ladies it applies more then men, but men have it hard too.

When we are born most people have little or no hair at all. My daughter was one of those kids who’s hair didn’t properly grow until she was 4 and even then it wasn’t much. I can remember when she was about 5 saying “Mum why can’t I shake my hair like the other girls in my class?” I just explained that her hair was different and eventually it would grow (Thank god it did).
When we are in our old age its the same thing for men its receding and going bald and for women hair thins. Most of us go grey eventually and for some going grey is a nightmare that is hidden by hair dye and for others, they wear their grey hair with pride. My maternal grandmother died without a grey hair on her head and my mum is yet to go grey. However, my paternal grandfather was grey from a young age so if genes play a part in the change then I have a 50/50 chance. (It could be controversial)

The battle of hair colour is a big issue nowadays with people representing themselves with “#TeamBlonde” or “#TeamBrunette”. Personally, having black hair this has never been an issue for me and the question usually asked is who has the most fun? Blondes or brunettes?

It’s funny the way we are stereotyped by the colour of our hair, the stereotypical blonde is seen as a bit thick, a bit loose, with fake boobs and generally looking like Barbie. Not every blonde is like this (Some of my good friends are blonde) but it’s a reputation blondes have been given due to some of them having a lack of self control! Blondes are seen as the girls who have the most fun but over the years a lot of blondes have taken the plunge to the darker side to become brunette!
Nothing is ever said about people with black hair (not that I feel left out) and we all know some very not nice things  are said about people with red/ginger hair!!!
It seems as though there is some kind of hair colour prejudice that goes on with a small population of people. What colour hair you have can influence which guys talk to you. How many guys have you heard say they prefer blondes to brunettes?

I personally don’t think it matters what colour your hair is but I do think hair colour is used more as a fashion statement for people to get noticed especially in the world of celebrity.
The world of celebrity intrigues us many people live there lives by what celebs say or do and hair is included in this. For some, Victoria Beckham is a style icon, for those of you who remember her as a Spice Girl will know she wasn’t always as glamorous her hair has inspired many hair trends. The posh bob, for example, was one that many ladies wanted at the time. Oh and guys, yes I haven’t forgotten you, Mrs Beckham’s other half is also a style icon too. How many guys ran out and got a mohican (even black guys) after seeing it on David Beckham?

I recall being dropped off at Gatwick Airport and waving to my husband’s aunt who dropped us off. I took my luggage to make my way up to the departure terminal before reaching the escalator – I let out a loud scream! My husband looked on in disbelief (and probably embarrassment) as I shouted out “My straightners! Where are they?! Have you got them??!” He replied, “No, they were in the car.” (Ladies…feel my pain here!)
Having straightened my hair before leaving, my GHD’s were too hot to put in the case so I decided to leave them out until arriving at the airport and then pack them in my hand luggage. A good idea (I thought) not banking on forgetting them. I ran back hailing down the car like I had forgotten my passport (best believe) and not a well-needed electrical appliance. I managed to get them and continued on my journey sighing with relief. I don’t know how many of you have GHD’s but I swear by them, I’ve had them for about 6 years and they have never let me down! It’s like a complete transformation for me once I make the transition from straight to curly.
I go through phases where I love my curls but currently I’m loving my long straight hair. I have said that when I’m 50, and without the time or energy to mess with my hair, I will get dreads and just be natural – but I guess I’ll have to wait for that.

It’s amazing that, here I am writing this in the US and everyone has good hair! I have seen all textures and shades and I will note hardly any with extensions or weave. So what’s their secret? Are we in the UK missing something so much that we are persecuted daily by the thing we are defined by? I’ve seen some bad weaves and extensions in my time (believe me). Have you ever been to a rave and seen bits of hair on the toilet floor? (It’s just nasty). Some girls can rock a great style of weave with the right hairdresser and style – it looks authentic. Others, however, look like they’ve been through the fast spin in a washing machine – forgetting to blow dry on the way out. The problem is, these girls actually think they look good!!! I’m a straight talking girl (as you should know by now) and if I was on a night out with a friend who’s weave made her look like Scary Mary – I would tell her. Not all girls are like me though and they let their so-called friends go out looking like tramps!!!

Most guys hate fake hair (well guys I know anyway). I said to my husband a few months back, that I was thinking of putting a few tracks in my hair to add some volume to it when it’s straight… He threatened divorce. He can’t stand fake hair so guess I’m keeping it natural. (Unless I want to get rid of him – muhahaha)!

It’s not just us ladies who have issues with hair though. Yes, guys, don’t pretend you don’t too. There’s shaping your hair up and making sure that your hair is cut into the right style. For those of you with afro hair, the main dilemma is deciding how low to go or how high to grow!(If you’re going for the ‘Kid n Play’ look).

What about plaits/canerows? We all know that they have to be re-done every few weeks – a month if your lucky. If you do have plaits, it’s sometimes a worry that you may be stereotyped looking like you want to be in a hip hop video! Going for a job interview and getting turned down because your hair’s to long or you have the look that echoes – ‘thug’.

A lot of people have daily battles with their hair and most of us will never find hair perfection! Hair is perhaps something that we all take for granted; we fill it full of chemicals to straighten or colour, we use heat to dry or straighten and we are forever chopping away at it. Forever wanting to change our hair, moaning that we are fed up with it but what if one day we didn’t have a choice? What if, one day we were ravaged by cancer and chemotherapy took away the choice to have hair? What if your hair suddenly started falling out in large lumps due to alopecia?
Through all its faults, I know the hair on my head isn’t that bad and when I style it right with an amazing outfit it helps me to look and feel great. I think next time you are having a bad hair day just think about how lucky you are.