Dealing with diagnosis

Life throws at you at its will some people feel they get more shit than others. I feel there is a balance and whatever it is will make you stronger or tip you right over the edge! 

I always say to the kids you get what you get and don’t get upset and by no measure can I be upset that I was given Kodi a child who has autism! I have said since Kodi was born that she was the child  sent to test my seemingly perfect, organised she can do it all way of parenting and that she has. Often we were told Kodi has been here before she knows the drill this time round she is just doing it in her own way.

Over the past few weeks people have reacted in different ways when being told Kodi has been diagnosed. Some sad and sympathetic like she has lost a limb or has an incurable disease that will kill her by the time she is 5!

Others supportive asking questions that some maybe afraid to say out loud. Giving knowledge or advice and just saying “She is still Kodi”

Some people have found it difficult and trust me if it’s that difficult you better leave now as I we can’t hold anyone else up!

Other ASD/SEN mums have reached out to me as it’s a journey we can all relate to a journey that is tough and a journey that often needs fight! For this I am grateful 💜💙

I feel relieved that finally we can move on…. I’m not deluded it’s the beginning of a long journey however it’s also the end of one. Any parent with a child with a condition knows a diagnosis can be a long gruelling process.

First someone has to think there’s a problem, then that person has to convince others there’s a problem (This could be parents themselves) parents then have to get their own heads round said problem and convince others friends family etc Friends and family will use the word normal 100 times and then the fight continues. This is before even seeing a specialist and then everyone involved has to convince the specialist theirs a problem because there is no blood test no walk in a straight line just boxes to be ticked with behaviours that are different!

I’m happy that I can say Kodi has autism rather than Kodi is awaiting a diagnosis of autism and she’s about 150 on the list and probably will be seen spring 2020!

Before I was happy I was in a sad dark place of no hope and almost like a loss for the child I could have had that would not struggle with life’s challenges. I struggled with how I didn’t smoke, breast fed solidly for a year and gave this child the best possible start in life…..

I battled with the fact that she wouldn’t be like other children and achieve what they could. I was baffled by how she met all her mile stones early crawling before 6 months walking at 10 months and clung to the fact she was potty trained at 2!

I soon snapped out of that and remembered that as Kodi’s mum I am her main cheerleader. As Kodis mum if I don’t believe in her how can anyone else! As Kodi’s mum the fight will always be there and if I don’t have her back how can she hold her own!

I then decided to be positive and with positivity comes light. So now if something big happens I want to tell the world because you don’t all see hers I’m her guide and will tell her story. You don’t have to like just scroll past if my “My child is doing” photos and posts bore you! The truth is these lift us up and are often things I never thought she would be able to do!! Each day we take small steps but we are actually climbing mountains.

Kodi struggles with sleeping, eating, currently has restless legs often lacks iron, can not concentrate is easily distracted, struggles socially, has speech delay, squints, needs to feel pressure on her body, is often in a day dream and oblivious to what’s happening around her, she currently can’t have her arms uncovered, sometimes has anxiety and ocd behaviour and is prone to meltdowns from all of the above. Which to the uncommon viewer may see it as a tantrum! Specialists are also concerned she has a small head! A small head which hasn’t grown in almost a year. I think her head is cute and we all know she grew into her ears so let’s hope a small head is not a big problem.

Kodi needs routine, structure, to be told and reminded consistently what she should be doing and should not. Kodi also needs patience, guidance and understanding from those around her.

Kodi is also a little ray of light in our lives she is the most beautiful little girl who grows in independence daily. She has the cheekiest smile and has us laughing daily by her quirky ways! Kodi is different and different is good sometimes I wish I could join her bubble and not be bothered by what’s happening in the world.

I don’t want people to change the way they treat Kodi if she has been naughty she needs to be told off. If she is having a meltdown she needs support and if she is struggling with the day she doesn’t need people in her face! (And nor do I)

I want people to know she has autism so they can be mindful of some of the ways she may react in situations. 

I guess as we embark on this journey we are learning and everyone else is learning with us too. So if you have a question and are not sure that’s ok….

P.S Thanks to those friends and and family members who have provided us with advice and support. 

 

Money V’s Love

Big said more money more problems, Jessie J is saying it’s not about the money and Aloe Blacc still just want’s a dollar.Let me not even get started on 50cent.

I don’t care what anyone says money is a big big thing in our lives from the moment you realise what money is and what it can get you, you want it. Whether it pay bills, to buy that dress or to put food on the table we all need and use money on a daily basis and sometimes we take it for granted.

So a friend said to me you can’t have girls and be in love with no money and I honestly thought he was wrong but on reflection he might have been right.

You all know I’m the modern-day woman, if I have to pay for the meal it’s cool. (You know I don’t like cooking so I’m always going to be the one suggesting) I always want to go out to eat and can not expect a man to be paying for me to eat out all the time just because I’m a hungry belly. If a guy is ok to split the bill or take turns in paying I would be fine with that. I know I like to go out to eat a lot and if I want to sit nice have a few drinks and eat my three courses peacefully I don’t want the guy sweating about how much this is going to cost him! This week my husband took me to eat at the Oxo tower restaurants as a treat (We had no kids for the night), a lovely restaurant and very pricey if he didn’t have money we would never have gone. This restaurant was over posh, the service was amazing and the view of London was one of the best I’ve seen. If you don’t have money you don’t get to have experiences, if my husband had taken me there on a first date I would have thought he was rich and most females would expect nothing less from that date on.

If you flash your cash a bit too much your setting your self up for failure, look at Ian Beale in Eastenders how many wives has he waved his money at???? So here he is flashing it at Mandy who is blatantly not interested and is in it for what she can get.

The other day I was watching one of those programmes that did the 2011 rundown and realised Hugh Hefner Mr Playboy himself got engaged only for his fiance to leave him. All that money, all those women and still nobody to love.

Some common beliefs are:

• With money you can demonstrate tokens of love, reliability

• broke love is usually stronger (Your struggling but you get by and your happy)

• Broke people don’t fall in love (Really broke like JSA broke)

• Guys with money have no time, so they buy gifts but the love is not actually there

I asked the females

You suggest going to a restaurant on a date with a guy you just met. Who should pay or who do you expect to pay?

“Men should always pay on the first date, if he doesn’t he won’t be seeing me again!”

“Whoever suggests it should pay!” (3 ladies said this)

“Dutch” (4 ladies said this)

“You ask you pay!”

“The man should always pay on the first date regardless of who asked first! #oldskool”

“I would go with dutch definitely although would appreciate the gesture as its sweet”

“Personally I believe in equals so i would offer to go halves”

“I expect him to pay but I’ll have money on case he wants to split it!”

“If I suggested it I would pay unless you’re in a relationship never go out without money in your pocket!”

Males were asked

You are going on a  date with a girl you have just met she suggests dinner and names a restaurant she frequents who should pay?

“She should pay she offered!”

“Split half way. If she says no, you pay. Gold digger”

“The guy should have enough to cover it just in case”

 

It’s hard to be in love and say money doesn’t matter for example

Female: Babe don’t get me anything for christmas

Male: You sure

Female: No we can’t afford it

Male: OK

Christmas day our lady friend has no present and our male friend is in the dog house!!!

Women love men to lavish money and gifts on them, no matter how much we say we don’t it’s lovely to buy your man a present but if he buys you one it’s something you can show off to your friends. If he buys you something big it’s something you can show off to the world something that he might say is a token of my love. Tokens of love as said previously are usually for guilty reasons, a lady may get a new bag for no occasions because her husband hasn’t shown her any attention or he because he forgot a previous occasion. Unless its new love how many people get tokens of love regularly?? Not hating and if you do get this regular great but I would much rather my husband take me somewhere nice than buy me a bag that everyone else has or even wants.

How many husbands/partners are currently busting there arses at work through January because their better or not so better halves have racked up the credit card bills.(Not mine he sighs in relief) Some women are cool with their other halves racking up debt just so they can live as good as their friends if not better. When it comes to money men are competitive but women are just as bad!

I know single ladies look for lot’s of qualities in a man and having a job is one of them, but how much money does a man need to earn before a single lady takes him seriously so that she knows if they get married and start a family he can support her??? When I met my husband he didn’t have a great job but at the time nor did I, I didn’t ever worry about if he could support me because we were in love and that was all that mattered. But now we are in a time of great economic depression are we looking more at someones bank balance than what they have to offer as a person????

Love and money is a bit like brains and beauty, his probably good-looking and has loads of cash but is absolutely brain-dead and the only person he loves is himself. (Unless your Ian Beale)

Just as long as a guy doesn’t look broke like a joke, dresses decently and is good to you I really don’t think it matters how many 000’s are on the end of his pay check. Maybe if someone gave Aloe Blacc a chance he wouldn’t need a dollar.

d

 

 

 

 

#DPMO

I sometimes feel that I am constantly moaning about one thing or another so I have decided to just have an all out rant, those that want to read can continue and those that don’t know how to leave the page!

We all have buttons that when pushed can make us angry, while out or go off on one and I have realised there is more than a few things that have been going down in one place or another that quite frankly piss me off!!

So I’m going to go from 10-1 with the top ten things that piss me off, some of them will have been taken from previous blogs and others will be general so here goes in no particular order:

10. Say what you mean, mean and do as you say!

There are a lot of people out there that are just hyped and this is not to be mixed with those out there that are confused. Those of you that say you are going to do something then back track, I don’t want to hear it! Further more we don’t want to know until you have done it. You all know someone like this help these people become people who do, not people who forever chat what they are going to do and never progress. Forever being that guy or that girl still in the same place not having been anywhere!!!

9. Followers!

I’m not talking about them on twitter!!! Not everyone has it in them to be a leader the same way not everyone needs to be a follower just because everyone else is doing it don’t mean you have to too.  Don’t try be like your friends your only going to get yourself into problems. Be unique, be real, be you. I’m not talking about following fashion or music, I’m talking about following life!!! How many of you know someone trying to follow your exact life movements? Just because your trying to develop in something they want to copy when they have never indicated this before? Followers are undercover snakes in the grass watch your backs!!!

8. Neanderthal Man

Guys get over it now Beyonce has sung enough songs to make you all realise there are enough of us strong independent ladies out here who can run the world. I’m not asking for a female global takeover, I’m saying we can match you in most things so ease up. Only women your going to get is breeders and the economy and your pockets will crumble if this happens. We need you, you need us enough said!!!!

7. BMT (Black Man’s Time)

I will add this does not only refer to the black man as everyone’s doing it, lateness is not on people fix up as my sister say’s running that slack and black line for the rest of your life is not going to help. I hate lateness, I hand on heart make every effort to be punctual as lateness brings stress and stress is not good. If this is happening to you on a regular basis it means your letting people down and the first person your letting down is yourself!! Fix up

6. Fakeness

I can deal with fake, hair tan, eyelashes, implants and whatever other body part you choose to super impose (I do not have any of these may I add) If your rocking these looks make sure your rocking them well I don’t want to see your streaky tans or the glue in your hair thank you very much!!! It’s cheap, tacky and not attractive. If you can’t do real make sure your paying money to rock fake good!!! While we are on the subject of fake any fake pretend friends jump off too, if your around someone for who they know, what drink they can buy you, rave they can hook you up with or just so you know their business to bitch to others KEEP IT MOVING and don’t stop when the light is red!!!!

5. I’m not a mind reader!!

Can we just start being real with each other, I am always as real as I can be with those around me. If you don’t like something SAY. If you don’t want to do something SAY. Don’t sit in the corner quiet then bitch and moan after the event, it’s not on either be real or stay silent!!! We can not read your mind you need to tell people what you want and think!!!

4. Leave the sun alone (No not the newspaper)

How many people do I hear complaining once it hits 25 degrees which it rarely does over hear but when we have our random two-week heat wave everyone moans “Oh init hot, oh init too hot” Go away no it’s not hot enough for my brown skin!!! I need it at least 30 before I’m even warm!!

 

3. People who moan about being tired!!!

Now I’m always tired and moan about it I work nights,  so half the time I don’t get that much sleep, if you aint productive in your daily going’s on don’t moan constantly about being tired when your not fully participating in society by working or rasing kids. You people sitting around being lazy claiming like we got enough money in the pot to look after you all wake up and fix up!!!

 

2. Kids

If your not going to look after, raise and earn a hard living to pay for them then you shouldn’t be having kids yes ladies that’s you too, it takes two don’t always blame the man who you know aint going to be around to help you. We all need to take some responsiblity be prepared to put in or don’t be pushing them out!!

1. Your Past

We all have a past some people never had dad’s, others never had mum’s, sometimes stuff was hard and other times it was real hard. But don’t blame every single thing that happens on your past “His like that cause his dad weren’t around” yeah it’s a factor but don’t make it your life story. Try to make the best of your situation  and learn from the mistakes. Don’t live by regrets and destroy yet another generation! Deal with things when they need to be dealt with, talk to someone, let your past shape your future not destroy it!!!

These among other things really piss me off what pisses you off??

Let’s end with a banger by Alizae and Mr Mayhem one of my favourites Don’t Piss Me Off

Single and Ready to Mingle!!!!

The weekend past, was by far, the best weekend in a long time! No, the title of this blog has nothing to do with me being single, but it does play a part of my weekend.
Friday, ironically, marked my five year anniversary and my husband had planned a surprise of dinner, drinks and comedy, and for the first time in a years,he bought me flowers -which deserves a mention! To be honest, I hate surprises and that’s due to me being so nosey and wanting to be the first to know everything!

Saturday, was my cousin’s club night ‘Kisstory’ at the Indigo 02. It’s a must for any old school garage fans with Kiss DJ’s and live acts from back in the day. (You can add the page from facebook to find out when the next one is – have to promote my cousin!) Indigo 02

Finally, I attended the One Love Peace Festival at Wembley Arena to mark 30 years since the passing of the legend Bob Marley and to highlight gun and knife crime in the capital.

Overall an excellent weekend although, at one point I did have to ask myself ,”Am I getting to old for this?” (We’ve all been there! Along with ‘I’m never drinking again!’) My answer was “NO!” A bit shameful maybe, but the saying goes, ‘You are only as old as you feel’ and although most days I feel like a pensioner, this particular weekend, I was young and alive!!! (I even got asked for ID in the shop.)

Right, I haven’t been single for ten years and being single was something that came up quite a bit this weekend. Now, although a lot of my friends are in relationships, equally a lot of my friends are single. This weekend, I started to wonder about the pressures of being single for both men and women over the age of twenty five?

Now, we all know that some women get to a certain age, panic that the old biological clock is ticking, “Must find a man, ANY man to make a baby!”) I even watched a documentary the other day about women going to sperm banks in America and finding donors which try to cut the man out altogether!

If your a guy who’s single and all your friends get partners or wives you become the friend who they are not allowed to roll with the one who is a “BAD INFLUENCE”! (Yes, this happens). I don’t know how I would feel if I was single at thirty-plus but if I were I would maybe just play the field. I have a joke with my best friend that if my marriage ends and I’m of an older age I would find a regular sleeping partner who I call old ‘Joe from Bingo’. As long as he filled my needs once or twice a month I would be happy- I guess *shrugs*. There is a general consensus between people that I know, that if your over 25, single and still raving like your 21 every weekend and most nights in the week, then you have issues that need to be addressed. Especially when the raving scene nowadays is full of young people from the ages of 16 -21(excluding going to pubs and bars). So, if I was single and not wanting to be in a relationship, what would I be looking for???
I went back to imaginary ‘Joe from Bingo’, someone who would be uncomplicated, gives me what I need – when and how I need it. I realised that over the last few years, I have seen my friends go through stressful relationships, playing the dating game and being hurt. I give a sigh of relief sometimes that I don’t have to do that but if I did have to go down that route again, I would at least know what I want!!!
I then thought about my single friends male and female alike they all seem to manage fine being single and although there are some low points at times (Who doesn’t have these!) they just roll with the punches! Over the last couple of weeks I have gone out to a few places and when I have looked around I have noticed a few things:

1. Most of the people that are going out now are under 25.
2.Most males who are going out regardless of their age are short under 5’4 (Where are all the tall guys at?!)
3. Girls are usually wasted at a certain time of the night disgracing themselves allowing no self-respecting man a chance

On Saturday, I tried to help a male anonymous friend out by trying to scope out perspective females that he may want to get involved with. The task was hard and left me feeling glad to be in a relationship and female. Girls are hard work, they either and perhaps I’m included in this somewhere:
. Think they’re too nice (When the majority are actually not)
. Are again too wasted to talk
. Have their bare feet out in the dance (Please…no… don’t do it have respect for others and bring flats)
. They are in a relationship

So pickings were slim although he did manage to find someone!
Today, I decided to do some research as I like to get my readers opinions there was an overwhelming response and at one point my friend said his BB was going to blow up! So the question was posed:  “What are the good and bad things about being single”

Good Points:
There is no one to answer to, you can do as you want and no one get’s hurt, you can sleep with who you want,
Independence, more free time and the ability to meet new people talking to who you want when you want
No need to lie, no jealousy, not having to take on someone else’s issues, no headaches, you can be selfish, you can give your energy to who you want to and not feel you have to always give it to a specific person and no getting into violent confrontations with your partner (Don’t know who this came from but they need to rethink who they are going out with!) and saving money

Bad Points
Lonlieness – No one to snuggle up to at night, go on dates with, no honeymoon period, butterflies or connection that is real with anyone, not loving anyone, never satisfied,
Frustration (We are not talking about the game here!)
Being the single one when your friends are all in relationships
Being a Hoe (Easy on how many people your sleeping with ladies and always be protected)
Lack of regular sex, sex is better when it is with someone you like
No-one to split your bills with, No one to cook for you.

As you can see there are a good mix of good and bad points. I think it depends on the person who is answering the question if it’s someone looking for love they may concentrate on the good points. Yet, if it’s someone who has been scorned they will concentrate on the bad points!

So I have come up with Five top tips for guys and girls to bag a mate! I’m not saying it’s definitely going to work but its worth a try:

1. Have a technique that you use to go on the pull (I’m leaving the way you do this up to you)
2. This ones for the girls: DON’T be scared to make the first move and guys if she knocks you back then dust yourself off and try again its her loss (Preferably not with her friend!
3. Don’t use chat up lines (someone asked me do I run like a cheetah when I had a leopard print dress on – yes makes no sense) if you see someone you like think about what your going to say -have an actual conversation!
4. It’s all about asking the right questions no point in taking someone’s number if they are not what you are looking for (No man with 6 baby mothers or woman with 3 baby fathers – too complicated stay away).
5. Sometimes you have to kiss plenty of frogs before your find MR or MRS Right. Don’t be quick to jump in the deep end too quickly or to early it will only end in disappointment!
I’ll leave you with this last line from a anon single female:

“Being single can be quite complicated at times!”

Who Runs the World????

I like to see myself as a good, strong, independent female; someone who is not scared to say what she thinks or feels and who is able to excel in all she does. I don’t like to fail and always aim high. I’m usually stressed because of the high standards I have for my self and my children – I want them to have and do the best they possibly can. I wasn’t always like this!

One day something clicked as a woman and a mother – I wanted more. I realised that I only had one life and needed to live it by doing all the things I wanted to do and no one but me could help with my dreams and aspirations this was something I had to do for myself!!!

When women go on the route to independence (not the M1) they always get stick from everyone around them – be it men or women. If you’re a working mum; you should be at home with your kids, if you’re a high-flying career woman; you’re power-mad and we ALL know what people think about female drivers! (I refuse to comment here)

The male/female divide always stirs up some form of controversy or debate. With any fiery females and red-blooded males -even from an early age it is apparent in the way the two sexes are different. Take, for instance, my children. My daughter, from a very young age, was fiercely independent wanted to do everything for herself and was (and still is) a quick learner, on the other hand my son has always wanted either myself or my husband to do everything for him. He wants to learn new things in his own time and although now at four years old; he has developed his own level of independence …it took him a while.
Not all women are feminists, but most sensible women have good opinions on how the modern woman should live alongside a man – and preferably living alongside the New Age man. However, there are many out there that still have not been able to evolve -remaining sadly in the Neanderthal stage (also known as savages).

I had a debate with my cousin last week about women and men not being equal, feminists and generally the power of the woman. (My cousin is male so you can only imagine the difference of opinions). Women have come a long way over the ages; we have the vote, we have mostly equal pay in the work place, we have some good strong women leaders in politics throughout the world and more women in high-powered roles. It was common belief (and in some places around the world) it still is the woman’s role to get married, have children and wait on her husband hand and foot.
Somewhere down the line women woke up and said “This is not for me!” These women decided to go and get educated, move into a career and do all the stuff man has been doing for years proving whatever he can do we can do! We have had the female artists that have been doing their thing helping and showing us the way Spice girls with the “Girl Power movement”, Aretha Franklin “Sisters are doing it for themselves”,  Destiny’s Child with “Independent Women”.

In my own house, as a working mum, I like to run a tight ship! I want to raise my children to be able to know how to run a house! I want to prepare them for when they have their own families, as well as ensuring they are well-educated and take on hobbies that could compliment their future careers. My house is the house of equal opportunities. My husband will cook, clean, shop, wash and iron just like me because if I’m at work or busy doing other things, I should be able to feel that I will not have to come home to a disaster zone washing piled high and the sink looking like we have opened up a restaurant! My Husband appreciates the fact that a women’s place is not just in the home!
I know many people who do everything for their husbands or partners, and if that’s what people are happy with doing then great but (and although I’m not religious) I will say the first woman Eve was created so that Adam would not be lonely not so she and women after could wait on man for all eternity. There is a difference between being a good wife and partner and being a doormat if your husband goes to work all day and you are at home then it is only fair and equal that you do everything in the home. (Although every now and again a break would be nice). If you’re a woman who works and does everything in the home and you husband/partner works then it is only fair and equal that he takes on some of the household chores relationships are partnerships where – if everyone puts in work, the benefits speak for themselves!!
In my view, the modern-day woman is someone with independence, intelligence and strength (remembering being educated and having common sense are two very different things – believe me, I’ve come across some dipsticks). Someone who has more to her than just her looks! Lots of guys, (and we see it in trashy magazines and tabloid newspapers all the time) go for the trophy wife with fake boobs and hair extensions with nothing but spaghetti for brains.

A lot of guys DO go for beauty before brains and although we all would like to have someone nice to look at and that will age well. If they lack the art of conversation, the next twenty plus years is going to drag slightly!!! (If it lasts that long)

Maybe guys are slightly scared of the modern-day woman since she stepped up her game and got all independent -singing about running the world, guys got a bit scared. I mean there are still the guys out there that will talk to anything that breathes regardless of what she looks like or how clever she is… trying to get what he can – slightly desperate –sound familiar?.
There are guys out there perhaps, who ARE afraid to take a risk on this kind of girl and maybe they worry that she will talk back too much, ask too many questions, not know her place and want them to take on more they can manage. There are guys out there that can handle the independent woman and we all know behind every great man is one hell of a great woman! These guys are not scared of opinion, judgement and change they are prepared to evolve in a way that is beneficial for all parties allowing their female counterparts to rise and flourish.
To me, guys who shy away from strong women are the ones that are losing out! My advice is don’t hide behind a man, be at his side.
I’ll leave you with this last quote:
“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.”   ~Anaïs Nin

Women want more

Compared to most people I know, I have it really good. Roof over my head, good job, husband and two great kids, holidays every year money in the bank and generally, if I want or need something I can have it so why do I always want more?
Wanting more can sometimes be a good thing but may come with sacrifices. Wanting to strive and having ambitions are great qualities in any person, and for a man to have a woman that wants to be the best that she can be, and even when she’s at her highest height still strives on is fantastic.

But… (and this is a big one) if the man is not flowing in her direction aiming for the stars, wanting to climb mountains to be the best that HE can be he may get left behind eating the dust of the woman he loves who’s running like Usain Bolt to get to the finish line!

Although I wouldn’t mind winning the lottery, the thought of too much money is scary – so I’m actually not that greedy! I would just want a few standard things and to sit on the rest. Although I’m good at my job, I’m not really looking to ‘savage’ all my co-workers with dreams of getting to the top! I would like a new job, but I guess that will happen, when it happens! I manage perfectly well being a working mum, whilst managing to shake a regular leg but when there are too many things happening at once I juggle everything to make it work (women can understand this) and this is where wanting more comes into it…
I will always be a wife and a mother but sometimes; it is just nice being ME – letting go and being free! I think this is something that most women can relate to. When the kids grow up, I don’t want to be stuck in the house having not worked all my life feeling sorry for myself?! When my eggs have grown into big birds (Sesame St.) and flown the nest (As time is flying by like…that probably won’t be long) I want to be out there still doing the things I enjoy; living my life to the fullest and not having regrets about things I wished I had done.
The word housewife has always sickened me and fair play to all the mums that DO stay at home. I did do this for a while but as my daughter grew I started to forget how to have adult conversations and to be honest (about?) There is only so much Jeremy Kyle and Cbeebies a woman can take!!!

Having been a teenage mum, I have gone from strength to strength on the defensive trying to overcome fears, doing things wrong then going over them, trying to do them right again. I know there is no such thing as the ‘perfect parents’ or ‘perfect Mum’, and I am far from being the ‘perfect person’ and some people may think this is quite selfish as when you are a Mum you have to sacrifice things for your children but I say, ‘Do you really need to do that? Can’t we at least try to have it all??? My children haven’t suffered. My kids know if mummy doesn’t work – we won’t have holidays and amazing days out. My kids are never left with nannies and our routine is sometimes a struggle but every week with all their activities I pull it off and between 8 and 9pm I hang up my ‘mum shoes’ and turn into me. That’s if I don’t have to work.

At this time I want to catch up with the gossip, open a bottle of wine or go and shake what MY mamma gave me.
I love my kids, but I want them to see me as much more than their mum. I want to be someone who they look up to, respect, see as hard working, someone with morals, ambition, drive, a strong woman who stands up for what she believes in and will fight to be heard. I want them to see me as the woman who did it all and more. Personally, I think it’s important for children to have people that they can look up to in all respects, having a daughter; it’s important for me to show her there is much more to being a woman than just being someone’s partner, wife or baby mother and breeding like a rabbit.

I feel I’m a bit like Oliver in Oliver Twist crying out with all I have going on in my life “Please Sir, can I have some more?” Being perfectly honest, Oliver did end up going from rags to riches so maybe there is no harm?